Student Blog: There's a Light

My first time being involved with a department-run show at UC San Diego would not come until recently, and so as an underclassman, my quarters were spent focused on pursuing student-led theater. To this day, my favorite rehearsal process and show run I’ve ever had the privilege to be part of was The Rocky Horror Show, directed by Danniel Ureña and Roselle Castro.

A thorough and diligent pair of artists, they had provided all interested performers with a scene-by-scene breakdown of all the show’s contents, and if you know, you know that the show contains some outdated and scandalous moments to say the least. This scared me. After perusing what they’d written, I thought I was content with the idea of not submitting and staying safely in my comfort zone. But I confronted this fear by considering what made a show like Rocky Horror intimidating. Was it worth it to bare a part of my soul that I had kept so closely guarded for years and years? I decided that yes, it was at least worth a shot. And getting cast as Brad was one of the best things to happen to me in my whole college career.

In Nio Russell and Stephen Loftesnes— Janet and Frank respectively, and they’re going to be superstars, so yes, you should know their names— I was granted two of the most thoughtful, luminous performers I’ve ever witnessed as my scene partners. They dared me to aim higher and to never shy away from the discovery and revelation that Rocky Horror is about. And beyond them, I was gifted the patience, enthusiasm, and encouragement of a full company that made me feel like this was what I’ve been put on the earth to do.

Flash forward to the 7:00 performance of our two-show Saturday (yes, we had a midnight show right after.) That morning, my family made the eight-hour drive to be in attendance. I was going through the motions of how a typical run flowed, riding the unique energy of that crowd and what callouts they were giving us, until the climactic Floor Show in Act Two. I did my quick change into the iconic scarlet corset and fishnets, then gained my balance in my stilettos. I froze in the wings, realizing what was coming next. I had no idea what my parents were going to think. But I thought back to my pensive, anxious self pondering over the audition packet a couple months ago. He decided that yes, this show was worth a shot. And so now, knowing there’d be no turning back, I strutted onstage and finished the show, truly and unapologetically proud of who I am. Nothing was ever going to scare me again.

Because of how this venue was constructed, we had no dressing room access without leaving through the audience, so we greeted the audience with our costumes still on after curtain call. In my scarlet corset and fishnets, drenched in buckets of sweat, I walked out to greet my family with the biggest smile on my face. My mom and I shared a tearful embrace. Rocky Horror was a journey that gave me so much more than I imagined. I owe a great deal of what I’ve learned as a college student to this show. Above all else, it gave me the strength to be myself and the courage to lead with my heart.