EDINBURGH 2023: COMING OUT TO DEAD PEOPLE Q&A

BWW caught up with Ricky Sim to chat about bringing An Asian Queer Story: Coming Out To Dead People to the 2023 Edinburgh Festival Fringe.

Tell us a bit about An Asian Queer Story: Coming Out to Dead People.

"An Asian Queer Story: Coming Out to Dead People" is a comedy show about me trying to come out to my traditional Chinese-Malaysian immigrant mother, just as she’s diagnosed with terminal cancer. Talk about great timing! There’s something heartbreaking but humorous in that “damned if I do and damned if I don’t” situation, where I had to decide whether to tell her the truth or let her be blissfully ignorant about my life before she goes. It's like, how much do I really want her to know about me? The show looks at how members of an Asian family express affection to each other, and the delicate consequence it might be impacting, which might not be the same as in the West, but is it wrong/incorrect just because the expression of affection is different than how it's done in the West? 

This show combines storytelling/stand-up jokes that I have worked on over the past 3 years. Audience members will hear about specific topics such as Asian family dynamics, cleft palate, and growing up gaysian in NYC –while at the same time exploring more universal topics such as grief, love, and acceptance.

I remember when I was trying to come out to my traditional Chinese family in the early 2000s, I was hoping there was a TV show or movie out there that talked about the coming out experience of a gay Asian, that my family and I could relate to - but there weren’t any. Even now, I still feel like many coming-out stories portrayed on-screen are predominately based on the Western or Christian families/experiences. I know many of my gaysian friends who do not come out to their families due to other reasons, such as Asian culture, the collective dynamic of an Asian family, and/or even due to the brutal policies of some Asian countries (I was born in a country that still criminalizes sodomy, thanks to the laws left from the colonial period, and heavily censors LGBTQ contents on media). I hope that my show can help start to add more diverse and nuanced voices and experiences to the rainbow of collective LGBTQIA+ stories. 

With this being quite a personal show, how are you planning to look after yourself performing it every day?

 The personal nature of the show actually motivates me to get up and do the show every day for the entire month of August. Since I started touring the show in NYC in March, many people have come up to me at the end and told me they feel “seen” or shared their personal stories about their experience dealing with loss or growing up in an Asian/immigrant household.

 I know that not only I am doing this show for me – I am also sharing this story for people who might have gone through or are going through similar experiences, and we can find humor and solace in them.

 Oh and also meditating and doing yoga, and I heard drinking a lot of water every day would also help!!

How has it been received so far?
I have done a dozen preview shows in NYC with multiple sold-out runs. It received overwhelmingly positive feedback from the audience member. Some of the quotes from audience member reviews

“The show was gorgeous, hilarious, sad, and happy – every emotion in a crayon box!”
 

“It had them laughing through tears,”
 

“A coming out story you’ve never heard before,”

“One of the kind gaysian story!”

"It’s like riding a mechanic bull – where it has its funniest moments and heartbreaking moments”

Who would you like to come and see it?
Even though the premise of the show is very specific - a gaysian, born with a cleft palate, and his relationship with his Chinese-Malaysian immigrant mother in NYC – it explores the universal experiences and topics on coping with grief, finding acceptance, cancer, identity, love and eventually finding closure.

So yea, I would say this show is for the gaysians, the immigrants, the Asian/Asian diaspora, the LGBTQ+ community, those who are out and proud, those who choose not to come out of the closet, those with loved ones dealing with cancer, those who still have loving parents, those who are dealing with grief, and anyone who face death …one day? (Basically everyone)

 Even if you are one of the immortals who will come to the Fringe this year, and cannot find this relatable, there’re still tons of dick jokes for you.

What would you like audiences to take away from it?
Grief is hard. So is accepting who you are and who your loved ones are, on top of feeling like the world dictates you on who you should be. I want people to see this and walk away feeling a sense of closure, warmth, tons of laughter, and a view of how different ways a family can work when it comes to expressing love, acceptance, and grief.   

Tickets are available here: 

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