Review: FIND YOUR WAY HOME, Etcetera Theatre

Alan (Anthony Cord) has decided to leave his family for Julian (Julian Bailey-Jones), his younger lover. The latter is ready to take him back after almost a year, but the arrival of his scorned wife (Julia Faulkner) interrupts their reunion. John Hopkins' Tony-nominated 1974 drama Find Your Way Home is an eye-rolling trainwreck in Stuart Clarke's hands.

The tacky poster that features male abs and female lips with an erotic fiction vibe is only the beginning of this piece's problems. Unfortunately, the colossal lack of chemistry among the characters weighs on the whole production and seeps in the cracks of a non-existent direction.

Cord is stone cold throughout as he stands straight with his hands in his pockets, playing opposite to a childish and clingy Bailey-Jones, his shoulders slumped and with a hole near the crotch of his jeans. Faulkner's hysterics when she shows up after following her husband are similar to a quick sequence of bipolar fits, not even scraping the top of the turmoil that they're supposed to feel.

The story drags on as a man in the last row starts clapping hopefully when Faulkner exits after her 11 o'clock number, but the characters keep walking in circles. Clarke's lethargic direction is far from being of the sexually charged kind and no one finds their way home in their roles.

One can't help but echo one of Julian's lines at the start: "I've had more satisfaction eating an over-ripe banana".

Find Your Way Home runs at Etcetera Theatre until 4 March.