All I can do is draw on my past experiences for guidance, find the people who care about me, and trust in myself that I can do this. I can also make lists.
Hello Broadway lovers, theatre students and creators around the world! Welcome back to the blog, and happy December! For those of you who don't know me, December is quite possibly my very favorite month. It's just the perfect moment in the winter season, filled with twinkly lights, first snows and an overall air of generosity and excitement. December makes me think of fuzzy socks, warm fires, and the holidays...including my birthday. So, I may be a little biased when it comes to my "ode to December." I've always been one of those people who LOVES my birthday. Delicious cake, hugs from my friends, presents...what's not to love? But this year is clearly different. For one thing, we're in the middle of a global pandemic. For another, I'm turning 20. That last fact may not seem like such a big deal to the average observer. But, to a dramatic almost-no-longer-a-teen who dislikes the concept of change? This is big. I'm leaving behind the last chapter of my life and entering my 20s!! When I think of teenagers, I think of high school. Puberty (fun). The SATs. When I think of 20s? I think of taxes. Mortgages. Starting my adult life!!! (Can you tell I'm a melodramatic theatre major?)
The last few weeks, I've been struggling with ending one chapter of my life in pursuit of the next. I was a very different person at 13 than I am at 19. Who will I be in another 10 years? Where will I live? What show will I be cast in? Pondering these unknowns floods me with a mixture of excitement, hope, and fear. I worry about what the next decade holds in store for me, especially surrounding my pursuit of the arts. But, more importantly? I'm honestly a little scared to grow up. Living in my parents' house (thank you COVID), I feel so young and inexperienced. And I don't know how to fully prepare myself for my life ahead. In all honesty, I don't think anyone knows how. All I can do is draw on my past experiences for guidance, find the people who care about me, and trust in myself that I can do this. I can also make lists. I love making lists. So, in order to help myself feel just a little more equipped for my 20s, I've decided to compile a short list of the most important things I've learned in my teen years and skills I hope to develop in the next decade. Some are on the sillier side; some are more serious. All are things I want to remember. While I'm making this list to help me feel a little more prepared for this next chapter in my life, I hope it can help anyone else in the same boat. Read on!
10. "I'd like to see you really try." I read this quote in Leslie Odom Jr's memoir, and it's stuck with me ever since. It was the first thing his mentor said to him when Leslie confessed that he wanted to quit acting. "You can quit, but first I'd like to see you really try." When I think that I am out of options, I want to remember that there is always more to try. I don't have to give up when I think all the doors are closed. I just have to keep searching for the open one.
9. Listen to your gut. So many times, in my life, I have been led astray by what others think I should be doing. I follow my overthinking brain and my people pleasing tendencies to choose paths that are not right for me. But every time this happens, I realize that the right choice was inside me all along. I have a strong intuition, and I often know when something doesn't feel like the right move for me. In my next decade, I want to trust my instincts more. Because at the end of the day, I'm the one who controls my life.
8. A song I learned years ago at sleepaway camp reads, "there's a house across the river, but alas I cannot swim. I'll live my life regretting that I never jumped in." It's so easy for me to get sidetracked by the doubts and the "what-ifs" circling in my head, letting decisions and opportunities pass me by. I don't want my life to pass me by. In my next decade, I want to try and jump in.
7. Practice gratitude. Something that's really helped me through these times is appreciating all that I have around me in this very moment, no matter how small. Happiness is not always around the corner, in the next job or the next purchase or the next week. It can be a constant state of mind, achieved when I want to tap into the beauty in my life.
6. Save money. I know you want that theatre shirt, but I think future Leah will thank you for leaving it in the cart.
5. Be inclusive. I have been excluded so many times in my life, and I will never forget the hurt it causes. Even as I become more confident in myself and with the people that surround me, I want to make sure that others never feel the same way. Then, I can be that kind of person- the one other people want to be around, the one other people rely on to create a welcoming environment.
4. Blinders ON. Someone gave me that piece of advice once in reference to comparing where I am on my life path to the journeys of others. Different life events or developments may happen to different people at different times, but it all will happen for YOU when it's supposed to. There's no use in comparing yourself and your life to others lives. All I can do is focus on how I can make myself better and prepare for the opportunities coming MY way, and be happy for the successes of others!!
3. Eat more grilled cheese. There's really nothing better in this world.
2. Learn to love auditions. Keep going to them. Keep breathing. Keep looking at it as a chance to perform and develop your craft, not as a means to an end!!
1. Don't give up!! Whatever you do, just don't give up.
Sending all the good December energy to all of you! Thank you for sticking along with me and my list, no matter what age you are- remember that you can do whatever you set your mind to. There is no one quite like you in this world!!
Love,
(Almost 20-year-old) Leah
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