Review: FLAT AND THE CURVES, The Stand

Equipped with four of the most gorgeous voices, Flat and the Curves sing of the throes of womanhood and the power of sisterhood like they're warming up for a stint in Les Mis.

Charlotte Brooke, with a 'face like Kate Bush' (and I had a crush) scores the act with her piano. She is flanked by west-end and cabaret stars Arabella Rodrigo and Katy Baker and Issy Wroe Wright - producer extraordinaire of Sh**-faced Showtime.

The cabaret act laments heteronormativity. This reviewer is a gay woman and not somebody who needs to be convinced how weird straight people are (I am JOKING don't DM me). Flat and the Curves sing of the weird phenomenon of spenny hen does, the wonders of the Swedish land of flatpack furniture, Ikea, and the strange ways of hetero men. They're so funny that on the night BWW reviewed the show, many audience members were wiping tears from their eyes. Yet what's so special is that they impart their humour through the most beautiful singing. The effect is bizarre: you're moved by their sound whilst bent double laughing. It's truly remarkable.

Not to sound petulant, but it seems quite rude to be so sparkly (actually: sequins should get a credit in the programme), so funny, and so incredible at singing all at once. They could leave a teaspoon of talent at the door, but they don't. They bring it all on stage, laugh their audience into puddles on the floor, and then leave you to carry on with your life wishing you could go back to their show and be part of the glittery fold again.

Flat and the Curves formed in the pandemic and are relatively new, as a group, to real-life audiences. That they are this flawless is outrageous. I'm not sure how they are going to become better, but I have a feeling they are going to shatter a few more glass ceilings with their high Cs.

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