BWW Blog: Absent from the Stage

Due to the outbreak of COVID-19, most productions have been postponed or canceled. It's likely won't step foot on a stage until next year. My March auditions got pushed back and then eventually canceled. It's difficult knowing that I can't be someplace I feel most like myself. It's difficult explaining to outsiders what it's like knowing that shows are canceled and broadway has gone dark. I often find myself missing the backstage shenanigans and rehearsals that stretch long into the night. My favorite part after every show is walking to my car. I am covered in sweat and pride. I am able to reflect on my performance and beam with happiness. I walk in the bitter cold not even caring that I'm shivering. I'm still coming down from the high of the stage lights; even the thought alone makes me smile. For right now all I have is the memories and Broadway cast albums to get me through this time of separation. I know eventually, we will all make our way back towards the bright stage lights the echo our name, it's only a question of when? The hard truth is that no-one has a definitive answer.

My fall semester has turned upside-down in terms of performances and classes. Its hard knowing that I am losing a semester of connection and growing with my classmates. As of right now, I'm browsing for monologues and practicing cuts of auditions songs. It's just about all I can do; that and read plays I've never gotten around to opening. I'm personally losing another semester of going to a four-year university. I have decided to defer until the spring semester and continue at a local community college. I struggled to make a decision..... I'd save money yet I lose another year of studying in close quarters with other actors who have the same passion as I.

This, however, also made me think about how campus wouldn't be the 'normal' even if I had decided to attend. The dining hall is take-out only, I would live in a single, classes are also entirely virtual, and I wouldn't gain that time on stage I am so desperately craving. The world is taking its time to heal and it's our job to give it that much needed time. This can give me time to get creative and think outside the box in terms of making art. I could take time to paint, draw, and sing (more than usual). While I'm saddened by the closure of my favorite place on earth, I'm excited by the possibilities it brings with it.

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