BWW Blog: Takes a Little Patience, Takes a Little Time

Growing up, understanding patience was quite the hard thing to grasp onto. I always wanted things done immediately, and wanted problems to be fixed as soon as the issues were recognized.

I hate to admit it, but that still stands true today.

In the world we live in now, it has been very difficult to have patience. It seems like things won't ever change or get better. To be honest, there have been times recently where I am sick and tired of waiting.

Theatre has been such a vital part of my livelihood. I thrive on the stage. Performing and submerged in art is where my happiness lies. I have not even stepped on a stage since January; almost seven months without a huge part of my very being. The thought of going back onto a stage scares me. The idea of never being able to feel the heat of the stage lights warm my face as I stand across from a scene partner scares me. Never having the chance to create an ensemble again scares me. I long to hear the rustle of audience members milling about in the house, and laughter that came along with the enjoyment of a witnessing show. I fear the big scary Zoom monster that is rearing its head at every turn, gobbling up what memories of live theatre we all have left. I fear the unknown. I want to be full of life and creativity again. I want to find the joy once more in this long-term love I feel deep inside of me. But what if I cannot find that again? What if it is lost forever? What if I go back to college, in the program I love, and have no desire to perform anymore? What if I go the rest of my life without ever curating that joy again?

The very definition of patience is the capacity to accept or tolerate trouble without getting angry or upset. That in of itself is extremely difficult. As humans, the easiest thing to do immediately is to use anger and whisk away any positivity that may be lying right beside the negativity. I will admit, I also do this. Focusing on the bad things the past few months exerts less energy than trying to come up with positive things.

I think that is something to be comfortable with. As wild as that sounds, finding that sort of peace in not being okay is empowering. Things are not always going to be easy. This pandemic is never going to get easier to navigate. Being an optimist, I sometimes need to remind myself of that. Not everything can be sunshine and rainbows. There will be rain and thunderstorms. Realizing a storm always passes, now that is the true beauty.

This storm will pass. The black clouds will return to their warm, and inviting white color. Life will return. I know it will. It has to.

Theatre will be back. Joy will find its way into our paths once more. Patience. Patience. The sun will shine its way through the darkness. Theatre always brings that sunlight. Theatre heals, and harbors more love than anything I have ever known. I cannot go without it. Somehow, some way that feeling will reappear.

It just takes a little patience, it takes a little time, a little perseverance, and a little uphill climb.

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