BWW Recap: Hop the Border into THE VAMPIRE DIARIES

Listen, I won't even begin to understand the first thing about magic. Ever since a witch put a spell on me to obsess over vampire shows and write sarcastic reviews, I've made sure to just nod my head and smile. We are talking about some dark, twisted magic here. And that's exactly what I've learned when watching THE VAMPIRE DIARIES; nod my head, smile, and enjoy the ride. Also, there's a dark, shadowy figure standing behind me playing Nickelback on a loop. I've said too much.

This week's episode, entitled "The More You Ignore Me, The Closer I Get," included another deadly car crash, Elena jumping out a window, and Alaric once again having to worry about health insurance.

RIP Ivy. Poor Ivy only got one episode to steal Caroline's clothes and munch on all the college co-eds before Tripp drove her over the Mystic Falls border. Elsewhere, Stefan had been saddled with the duty of informing Damon of Elena's ETERNAL SUNSHINE compulsion while Caroline broke the news to Elena of Damon's return. Neither was happy with their respected news and Damon was sure that True Loves Kiss would solve his problems (FYI, ONCE UPON A TIME is on Sunday's at 8 PM).

Over in the Salvatore mansion, Sarah was pestering Jeremy for information on her family, but he was being too much of a jerk to indulge her. Even though she was chilling in the house that technically belonged to her and probably contained hundreds of years of family history, she decided to snoop around Tripp's office instead. Luckily for Sarah, Tripp was too consumed with getting information out of Enzo, which opened up his office for her and Matt.

Damon had decided to go see Elena anyway, but she wouldn't open her door to him. He complimented her on her breathing and was about to come face-to-face with her, but she leapt out her dorm window instead. Since he was already at Hogwarts Whitmore, Damon decided to have a reunion with bestie Alaric. Instead of hugging it out and crying over how much they missed each other, though, Damon berated Ric about Elena's compulsion. Fair enough, but it was Elena's decision whether she received her memories back.

Elena had taken a trip over to the hospital on Alaric's request to find out more about Jo and her inability to be compelled. She didn't have to do much stalking before Jo angrily confronted her about force-feeding her blood to a dying student in the corn maze the night prior. She knew Elena and Alaric were vampires, but she didn't care. Elena questioned Jo whether she was a witch or not and the doctor played coy. There was a very big possibility this woman hailed from Oregon.

Jeremy confronted Damon at the dorms, but he was too busy drawing a beautiful stick figure of himself on a picture of Elena. He told Jeremy Bonnie had found peace, but his pants quickly set on fire from all the lies he was telling. However, Damon did make a heartbreaking call to Bonnie's cell, lamenting how much his missed her voice.

Elena had decided it was time her and Damon met up in her dorm room, which Damon was already creepily hanging around in. Before Elena could return home, though, Tripp and his band of goons showed up and kidnapped Damon.

Alaric quickly evaded Jo to help Elena, Caroline, and Stefan save his bestie and a tormented Elena confessed to Caroline she wanted all her memories of Damon back. Alaric tussled with Tripp, but the human was able to steer the vehicle past the Mystic Falls border, crashing the van in the process. Stefan risked his life and crossed the border to save his friends and a stalking Jo had made it to the scene in time to help save Alaric.

Stefan pulled himself and Damon, both dying from their original gunshot wounds, and Enzo, dying from tuberculosis, over the border. The three remained vampires. Alaric, on the other hand, was about the die from a fatal wound, but Jo used her human medical skills to save him and pull him back from the edge at the last moment. Not only was Alaric now a human, but he had not died, rendering Elena's compulsion still in tact. Instead of just slipping across the border for half a second to de-compel herself, Elena remained in shock and accepted her fate.

In Mystic Falls, Jo threw a lot of shade at their hospital as Alaric considered his health care options and Matt came clean to Sarah about her Salvatore family members as they dealt with a grieving Jeremy. Outside of the border, Caroline confronted Stefan as she angrily admitted she didn't even want him as a friend anymore and Damon and Elena finally came face-to-face.

Things we need to discuss:

- Seriously, could Elena not just have vampire whooshed in and out of the border to end her compulsion?

- I'm kind of bummed Alaric is no longer a vampire. I've been waiting since Season One for a vampire Ric and really enjoyed the opportunities that resided with him as an "Original" vampire.

- Can no one tell Esther over in New Orleans about the Mystic Falls border? Please and thank you.

- Do you think Jo is going to start offering paid vampire-to-human services now?

- Someone give Alaric the quick 411 on Obamacare.

Are you sad about Alaric becoming a human? Are you also confused about how the border magic works? Do you think Elena's audition for TOP GEAR went well? Comment below or tweet me @enr702 or live-tweeting @erinrlivetweets.

Below, watch a promo for next week's episode "Do You Remember the First Time?":

Photo Credit: The CW

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