Savoring "the feeling in it" after my summer show.
I recently just finished up my run as the icon of female independence, Donna Sheridan, in a Summer production of Mamma Mia!, and my heart has never been so full. This role was one I found so much comfort and healing in, as I hadn’t realized how many parallels between Donna and myself I would find. At a time when I really needed something to focus my energy into, Mamma Mia! really couldn’t have come at a better time, as I was able to give my energy to something productive performance-wise, as well as finding comfort and understanding in the words I spoke.
Coming into this production, I was much newer to the company than the rest of the cast, and was nervous about trying to connect with the already formed friend groups– as well as not wanting to come off as stuck-up, coming in as a college theatre major playing a main character. Thankfully though, I had a couple friends in the cast and crew that helped bring me out of my shell in the group, and it wasn’t long before I felt myself able to open up and connect with the rest of the people there– who then offered me lots of kindness and comfortability in the rehearsal room.
I was intimidated about my ability to deliver such a demanding role, as I’d never played a principal lead before this point– especially not one popularized by Meryl Streep. I knew I had been practicing for a moment like this, but the idea of messing up or not doing justice to songs like “Slipping Through My Fingers” or “The Winner Takes It All” in front of an audience was terrifying. I remember the first time I had to sing these songs back to back in our first tech run, I was so afraid of messing up on my first time singing solo for the whole cast. Although, after both numbers, I was met with much applause and cheering on from my friends, who supported me as always.
Growing comfortable performing solo for many eyes and ears was something that I definitely had to warm up to, but by the time we reached tech and the shows, I was able to gain confidence in my position, even feeling excited about getting to sing for so many people. While very demanding and requiring much more throat coat and steaming than any part I’d played before, this process helped me develop a sense of pride in sharing my voice that I’d never had before.
Once we reached the shows themselves, I can say confidently that I’ve never been a part of a show that had such infectious energy as this one, leaving the audience buzzing after every number. The whole experience felt so alive and fun during every single performance, having never left me feeling so present in the moment of performing before. I can truly say I will never forget the feeling of taking my final bow before the spectacular production I’d grown to cherish so much.
Mamma Mia! taught me a lot about performing as a whole. I had to take care of my voice and body in new ways, deliver more onstage, and connect more deeply to the material I was working with. Coming out of it, I can say with all honesty that I don’t think I’ll ever forget this experience, or the people that made it so special. Learning to trust myself and my abilities the same way our director and board trusted me was an obstacle, but one I can say I happily overcame, and can say I’ve never been more proud of myself– on and offstage. While Mamma Mia! may be over, it certainly hasn’t slipped through my fingers, and I will take what it has given me everyday. In other words– I’ll take it all.
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