Student Blog: The Return of Forever

I have been given the wonderful opportunity to be cast in my first live production since the beginning of 2020 and boy, am I excited! This feeling is something I missed deeply. I have kind of forgotten what it felt like to go to rehearsals everyday and have the excitement of even memorizing lines.

The Crucible by Arthur Miller has been a show I have always wanted to do. It is such a classic play and to be able to do this as my first show back on stage is incredible.

Rehearsals have been so interesting and different. Seeing tangible beings and hearing others' voices live is such a weird feeling. However, it is an incredible feeling. You never really realize how much you miss something until you don't have it for a long time. That human connection is something that I truly cherish and will always hold on to from here on out, no matter how much my introverted brain tells me not to.

Acting and performing with others in a scene is amazing! I enjoyed having the experience of performing on zoom and all the things I did learn from that. I've said it once and I'll say it a million times more, but the feeling of live theatre will never be outshined.

I will be honest though, not every rehearsal has been rainbows and butterflies. I find myself often feeling extremely anxious and nervous. Those feelings of "am I good enough for this anymore?" and "can I actually still do this?" come up very frequently. It's just where my brain is at now. It's hard to suppress all of these feelings. It was hard to walk into a room full of fully vaccinated humans and not have to wear a mask anymore. It's been difficult to carry on in idealistic normalcy when deep down in the back of mind my brain is telling me to run away.

Being uncomfortable is good. Finding that balance between growth and being steadfast comes when you put yourself out there and try. If I hadn't even auditioned originally, I wouldn't have fallen in love with theatre again. And that's the biggest take away from this all. Falling in love with being home. The shattered pieces of my heart are coming together and I feel whole once

more.

I hope that if one day this ever does happen again, where we lose theatre, I won't be as devastated. Because you know what happens? Forever really does return

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