Student Blog: The First 'No'

I'll begin with a little backstory. As the Act II curtain came down on Disney’s The Lion King on Broadway, no one could tell me that I wouldn’t be cast as the next Young Simba. I was determined. This became my entire personality for the next 2 years. My neighborhood echoed with the sound of me screaming the lyrics to “Oh I Just Can’t Wait To Be King.” I watched Youtube clips and the soundtrack stayed on repeat. I constantly checked online to see when the next set of auditions would be held. However, they were always inaccessible. One day, my dad was scrolling through Facebook and came across an open casting call that would be taking place at the New Jersey Performing Arts Center in my city! For an 11-year-old me, this was my calling. I began to practice excessively and could already see my name and headshot in the Playbill. When the much-anticipated date came around, I anxiously stood in line with my parents and little brother. The line stretched for light years but, before I knew it, my audition group was next to be called in. We stood in a circle and took turns singing a selection of lyrics. I was intimidated. The voices around me sounded as if they were pulled directly from the cast recording. When it came my turn to sing, my strained belt quickly cracked into a shaky falsetto. In truth, I was reaching puberty early and my voice was not fit for the role. It came as no surprise that my number was not called to stay behind and move on to the next round. My first “no.” While this had been my dream for so long, I don’t know why I wasn’t particularly sad. I guess part of me had already come to terms with the fact that my voice was changing rapidly long before the audition. It was out of my control. From there, I developed a mentality that has been so helpful in the face of rejection not only in theater. 

I think it is easy to look at rejections and jump to conclusions about your worth or talent. I try to avoid these thoughts and, instead, process the ways I can improve my performance for the next audition. I now understand that being considered as the perfect fit for a role is subjective. Casting varies based on the director and final decisions go beyond your level of “talent.” I have adopted this mindset as it prevents me from ruminating on the rejection. In the midst of self-deprecation over one role, you may miss the many other opportunities available. There is a lot to explore and little time to attach deep feelings to each audition.