Student Blog: Running on Fumes

Everyone has heard the term "burnout" and while it looks different for each individual, the general consensus is just a feeling of lifelessness in the sense that everything you had to give was used up. We talk about burnout a lot with academics or high-stress careers, but it is usually connected only to work of some kind. I feel that it is in the absence of work, the time where you finally get to reflect on the race you've been running, that the burnout really settles in. At least, this is the case for me. As a result, the end of the summer is a recipe for disaster, as I sit in the boredom of relaxation and begin to spiral into the chaos of returning to school. When you are in the heat of stress, whether it be a career or your studies, you don't really have time to sit back and say "wow, I don't feel good." Many of us are just in a constant state of survival so the burnout appears in the times where we are actually away from the things burning us out. 

I am no psychologist and can only speak to my own experience, but the appearance of the burnout in the silence makes it feel even worse, even more all consuming. It's hard to negotiate with the devil on your shoulder trying to tell you that this job or that class isn't that bad when you feel yourself caving in next to the pool or panicking on random July nights. You know how they say distance makes the heart grow fonder? I think the opposite could be said about high-stress situations. Once apart, the magnitude of the self-neglect, the overworking, the sickness, the misery is even bigger. Once you have some days where you feel like a happy, functioning person, you realize the shell that you've been feeling like for the days, weeks, or months prior. 

When you feel this in relation to college, it becomes even more complex. Everyone is always saying that college is "the best four years of your life" and that you will find your peak. If you start to feel burnout, confusion about your career, anxiety about returning, or any negative emotions about your school, it feels like YOU are the problem and like you're doing something wrong. Nobody tells you that, sadly, most students are extremely burnt out after working non-stop for 9 months of the year. Unfortunately, the structure of most universities, the pressure for internships and outside jobs, and the pipeline straight from high school to college to career leaves little room for those very valid and very common "what am I doing" moments. 

Unfortunately, the articles out there on burnout aren't particularly helpful in my opinion. "Quit your job!" "Take a walk!" "Talk to your friends!" When you are in the thick of burnout, all of these suggestions seem like even more draining and anxiety-inducing tasks. Burnout leaves you paralyzed, staring at a screen often with you brain in a different place, exhausted and yet not able to sleep. So well the suggestions are well-intentioned, it kind of feels like telling a child "just read, its not that hard" when they physically aren't able to do it yet. 

So, what is the solution? Honestly, there isn't one. I think of it like a common cold. It took you a bit to get sick, its going to take you a bit to get better. There is no major life change you can make that will instantly take the cold away and no magical medicinal cure. Your only options are the ride it out, take the necessary steps so it doesn't get worse, and have things or people on standby if you need help. I hate to say burnout is just "part of it" because it really shouldn't be, but in our workaholic society, I'd say its a commonly shared experience. Remember that you aren't the problem and there isn't something "wrong" with you, do what you can to take care of yourself and don't worry about what others say you should or could be doing, remind yourself that true friends will understand if you leave that one text on read or don't hop on the group face time, and just take your time. For my fellow college students out there, try to put things in perspective. You are being required to make major life decisions at 18, 19, 20 years old and that's a lot. Take it in pieces, remind yourself that one missed class or one late assignment isn't going to ruin your future, and change the narrative that everyone else is thriving and you are the odd one out. Most likely, everyone is experiencing it in some form and there is massive strength in numbers. 

Photo: Yuris Alhumaydy via Unsplash