Student Blog: Restlessness Over Break

As the end of the year approaches, the overwhelming responsibilities from work, school, and auditioning loom over holiday festivities. This time of year can feel like you’re running in circles with no time to yourself- and that’s not even mentioning the anxiety that comes with travel plans and gift-giving. Because of this stress, December leading up to winter break can feel hectic and incredibly long. 

In my experience, when I finally get to winter break and can rest, I have no idea what to do with myself. I become overwhelmed with guilt and restlessness for not using my time to continue working and growing. This restlessness is caused by the harsh transition from working myself to the bone- to then doing absolutely nothing but resting over the holiday break. Because I get used to sprinting from task to task for the last few weeks, relaxing will feel unfamiliar, even wrong.

Because it’s become so normalized for actors to keep working, no matter the time of year, it’s tempting to do the same. And if you’re anything like me, comparison definitely plays a role. For instance, I would see school friends on social media training at their dance studio back home. This was terrifying because I didn’t have many of those resources in my hometown. I would take a couple of voice lessons during my time off, continue stretching, and submit for a couple of projects, but I still felt like my efforts would never be enough compared to my classmates. This guilt has always been present during the holidays for me.

I’m not saying you should stop being diligent over break, but your priority should be to spend time with friends and family- not self-tapes or training. Yes- continuing to train and audition over break is great. It’s a sign of immense dedication, but doing so excessively is not healthy. It is not productive to be training and auditioning on your break to the extent you do off of it. Those breaks are built in for a reason. Once you’re out of school, breaks will be few and far between. Some professional contracts go right through the holidays, so take advantage of this time you have now to rest.

At the end of the day, if you keep working over break to the extent that you did before the holidays, this will only result in burnout. When you start to feel the guilt creeping in, direct that energy elsewhere. Try pursuing hobbies that you otherwise don't have as much time to do, make plans with friends, and hang out with family. These facets of your life are of equal importance to your career, especially on vacation time. Taking a couple of weeks of being “less productive” in your career allows you to focus on other significant parts of your life. Those feelings of guilt and restlessness have nothing to do with how incredible your work ethic truly is. Your craft will always be there when you return, so take that well-deserved time to rest. It will only make you come back recharged and stronger when the next semester starts again.