Student Blog: Navigating Post-Break Guilt

While filming my college auditions, I promised I would take a break from training and preparing for auditions once my prescreens were done. I had gone from a conservatory program directly into intensely training and filming all of my college prescreens. I needed to listen to my body, take a step back, and reset once my applications and auditions were submitted. In full honesty, my idea of a break still includes attending dance class and voice lessons every week. But, I planned to lighten up on the at-home practicing and catch up on some much-needed rest.

All this to say, I am now on the other side of this “break” and getting back into my usual training has been more challenging than I suspected. I knew I was not going to be instantly performing at the level I was at when I decided to ease up on my practicing, so I wasn’t shocked by my slight physical setback. I was, however, surprised by how mentally challenging coming back from a break has been. I have experienced a lot of guilt and feeling like I need to “make up for the time I lost.” I had to fight with my thoughts to not be mad at myself for taking a much-needed break. 

As I started to find myself regretting the break, I took a step back to think about the situation logically instead of emotionally. I thought back to why I decided I needed a break in the first place. I reminded myself of how exhausted and burnt out I was feeling. I knew if I hadn’t eased up on practicing and listened to my body, I would feel worse now than I did before my break. With all emotion aside, taking a break was a logical, smart decision for me. 

In the performing arts industry, I feel as though there is this notion that you always have to be doing something. There is this expectation that you should be constantly working on a new project or toward a new goal. This creates the myth that performers should feel guilty for doing “nothing.” But the truth is, this “nothing” can be just as productive as any “something.” The next time you are struggling mentally when coming back from a break, remind yourself why you took the break in the first place. Chances are, you needed that break. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: never feel guilty for listening to your body.