Student Blog: Learning to Juggle

My final school supply list as a college student consisted of just two things: a book co-authored by the Dalai Lama and a pack of three Speevers juggling balls - complete with a carry case for convenient access! While I knew the book was for spiritual guidance (as I'm also taking a course aptly titled "The Art of Happiness"), I was skeptical about what I was going to take away from juggling for my last stage movement class. On a basic level, I knew that learning the skill of juggling would aid in hand-eye coordination, which, for me, is definitely something I needed to brush up on anyways. Plus, it'll be a cool party trick for when I finally get to go to a party again. Before logging onto our first class on Zoom, however, I thought that it was going to be nothing more than a cool "hidden talent" to acquire.

Toss, toss, catch, catch. Keep your palms up and arms bent at a 90 degree angle. Just pop the ball up, but remember to also keep it in your "box" above your forehead. After that, easy. These technical reminders of form often coursed through my brain, and as I desperately tried to keep up with my peers, I fell behind. The way I worried about every detail as I tried to prevent myself from dropping my objects only added to my frustration. After several sessions of chasing my juggling balls around the perimeter of my apartment bedroom and beating myself up for not being an instant juggling pro, things finally improved. Having my professor observe my progress via gallery view and unstable internet remains daunting, don't get me wrong. But when I finally allowed myself to take a cleansing breath one day and not micromanage the situation, I completed my first two juggling rotations with three balls. No issues, no stress - I intuitively knew what to do.

My jaw dropped. How could I, the least coordinated human I know, suddenly learn how to juggle three items? And have fun doing it? A few minutes after my breakthrough, our class debriefed, talking about what we accomplished. When it was my turn, I mentioned that the less I stressed about juggling, the better I did. Something then clicked. Perhaps the reason we learn to juggle in class is that we do it everyday with all aspects of our lives, both as performers on stage and as people on Earth. All the world's a stage, after all. Instead of three bead-filled juggling balls, in life we learn to "juggle" our responsibilities and relationships based on a self-determined rhythm and pace. It's easy to hyperfixate on minute details, especially when a situation seems overwhelming. I can (and do) try my absolute best at everything I do, but sometimes, I must adjust what my best is that day - especially in "unprecedented times." Just as I can't complete a juggling rotation when my mind roams, I can't do homework or apply for jobs if I'm neglecting my other needs. Just as I have bad days, I have to drop down to one or two balls instead of three if I keep messing up. As things remain uncertain in the performing and personal spheres of my life, at least this "party trick" I'm mastering in movement class serves as a physical metaphor for striking a balance in all things I do.