Student Blog: Keeping Up While Off Stage

I don’t know how true this is for other schools, but at my college, mid to late November is prime performance time. Nestled between midterms and finals, both clubs and the theater department often take this theoretically less stressful month to open their productions. Due to a combination of homework, my job, and some personal responsibilities, I was unable to attend most of them, but I did manage to see our musical club perform. 

For whatever reason, the theater department is averse to putting on musicals with the most recent one taking a collection of students hounding the department for over a year. This club was formed in response and does a production every semester. I was involved during my freshman year and though the shenanigans were strong and memories fond, I haven’t had the chance to pay much attention since. Maybe that’s why, after the show, the overwhelming delight I came away with was tinged with a hint of regret.

I’ve been neck deep in theater since middle school and this past year was the first time in a decade that I have not been a part of a production in some form. Even during covid I was able to continue doing tech because I learned a couple of video editing softwares for film classes. This year though, I took a step back from theater. While this was not the whole reason, a major factor was my film degree and work. As a film major a lot of my classes have mandatory evening screenings which cut into rehearsals for both the department and clubs. Additionally, I’m a teaching assistant for the film department and part of that is to run screenings so even if I’m not in the class I have to go. 

I managed to make it work for my first two years, but due to major requirements, I can’t put off classes anymore. So, I dropped theater with the goal of rejoining in my senior year. To be honest, at first it was kind of a relief. No more running across campus half the week for rehearsals or skipping lunch for production meetings. Eventually though, the novelty died and I just let it fall to the back of my mind, but watching that performance brought it all back. The buffoonery of early rehearsals, the challenging but engaging puzzle of production, the stress of tech week, the satisfaction of all the departments coming together, the catharsis of a show well done. That had all been a staple of my time for half my life and all of a sudden I was outside of it.

At the time, it was depressing. I felt like I had abandoned my passion. Looking back though, while it grieves me to not be a part of a production, I think it’s also wrong to say that I’m missing something. This year has still been full of theater, musicals in particular. I’ve been following Vivziepop and her production company for years, so when Hazbin Hotel dropped I binged it one sitting before annoying half my friends into watching it too. I’ve also been keeping up with Helluva Boss and am currently rewatching it with a friend who fell in love with Hazbin.

I’ve also been obsessed with an in-progress musical called Epic. Combining the Greek mythology nerd me with the theater kid me was probably the worst and best thing that’s ever happened. Another friend and I have been analyzing every song, watching every animatic, and drawing too much fanart. And, speaking of animatics, fan animation is as alive as its ever been and I’ve been saving video after video. Through these media, I’ve continued to consume and enjoy theater without being a part of it.

There will always be a piece of me that yearns to work on shows, but I have never been disconnected from theater. So often people talk about the magic of theater being what happens within 50 feet of you. There is certainly a wild, undefinable energy that happens when watching or participating in a production in person, but theater is so much more than that and I think in that moment I forgot that.

My parents are big theater people and when I was a kid they took me to Beauty and the Beast. I often speak of that show as being the birth of my love of theater, but it wasn’t just that. Beauty and the Beast was an unforgettable experience, but my passion was nurtured by what I found online. First it was soundtracks, then it was televised performances, and then animatics. No matter how many shows I see or help put on, all those other forms remain a constant support and outlet for my love and creativity.

I’m sure this is nothing new to people of my generation, but I suppose I hope this is a helpful reminder that theater doesn’t just happen on a stage. If you haven’t, maybe pop onto YouTube and search up ‘INSERT SONG / SCENE / SHOW animatics’ just to see what comes up. The creativity and joy I find from some of those cursory searches never cease to amaze me and always make me fall further in love with theater. If you do, I hope they do the same for you!