Student Blog: Into The Unknown

As I come closer to nearing the end of my time at AMDA and see so many friends graduate, something strikes me. I have no idea what's next. In 7 months, I won't be in school anymore. You know, like I've been doing my whole entire life so far? School has been life and now I am about to jump into a life without going to school. Wow. Still taking that in. I'm sure this is me and every other college senior right now.

College senior? HOLD UP, I was just in high school. I just finished my last high school musical ("Big Fish") and I was awaiting AMDA's acceptance or rejection letter. Holding onto the lyrics "I'd live forever in this moment if I could stop time." I was so afraid of the reality of moving into another season of life and worried about the outcomes. I realize, here I am again doing the same exact thing. But it led me here, from a high school senior trying to figure her life to a senior in college soon to graduate with her Bachelors Of Performing Arts. If I could tell her (the girl I was) that everything would fall into place, she wouldn't believe me. She'd say "No way. I'm not good enough. Why I even try?" And today I'd say because this dream burns deep in your soul for a reason. Why not try? Why run from something that makes you feel so alive where you can't imagine doing anything else but this? Do you have the dream, like really have the dream where it lives inside your heart and your mind and your whole self?

Well, then you're capable of it because you want it. And if you want it you'll work really hard for it. And if you work really hard for it, it can be yours. Back to my worried 18-year-old self, I didn't know if I was going to get into AMDA. My first thought was "I still have so much to work, I don't know if they'll accept me." I then started thinking about how I began as a second alto my freshman year of high school thinking I couldn't sing in any of the higher parts. So I started taking voice lessons from my incredible choir teacher to help with my range and by senior year I was singing with the first sopranos. I never thought I was capable of that and I was singing differently than I ever had before, this new part of me and my voice that I didn't even know about. Growing. That's what high school, college, classes, and voice lessons are for. I didn't walk in with those high notes but I did walk out with them.

My point being you don't have to walk in perfect, you don't have to walk in with everything figured out. If you did, there would be nothing for you to learn. I had a class a few semesters back that was purposed to expand our range of music genres. I was nervous because rock was one of the genres and I had NEVER done that before and now I love it so much. I'm about to go into another thing that I have done before, the unknown (cue Elsa). There have been so many unknowns. But that's life and if we follow our hearts we are going to land where we are meant to. Just like I was meant to take voice lessons in high school and learn some of the most valuable lessons of my life at AMDA. I didn't know these things were going to happen before they did. Trust the unknown, it's okay to not know and to also dream your biggest dreams at the same time.