Student Blog: How Poetry Reignited My Love for Theater

In my senior year of high school I went through the all-too familiar process of college auditions: prescreens, headshots and resumes, auditions, and the grueling wait between leaving the audition room and getting a decision email. I ended up not getting into what I thought was my dream school, but I was accepted into a non-audition BA program, where sophomore performance students could audition for the school's BFA in Performance. I took all the pre-reqs, stressed over my song and monologue, gave it my all in classes, and met my best friends along the way. And one cold Friday night, at 6:31pm, I received yet another rejection. And boy, did that one hurt.

Luckily, just a few days after I got that rejection letter, winter break came and I had plenty of time to sit with my thoughts. Knowing that almost all of my friends had gotten a "yes" when I got a "no," that they would be pursuing our dreams without me beside them, was, to say the least, not a fun time. I had a backup plan, to become a radio major, but it dawned on me that I wouldn't be happy doing that. I just could not see myself as enjoying my time in that program. I'm a current member of my school's radio station and I have a good time doing my hour and a half slot every other Saturday; but as my Co-Star once said: "If the things you love feel like a chore, you don't love it anymore." And so, I changed my major to simply "Drama."

After taking my obligatory week to sit, binge watch Derry Girls, and consume an unhealthy amount of homemade chocolate chip cookies, I realized I had to get myself together. But I couldn't find the motivation to do so. The stench of rejection and failure still hung around my mind. I thought surely, working on an audition piece from King John (my favorite Shakespeare play) could get me out of this funk. I did manage to film the self-tapes in time, but I was still feeling disconnected from my passion. That is, until I found a poem I wrote in November.

In my sophomore fall semester, I took the Movement I class offered at my school and had a great time; so much so that I wrote a poem about it! According to my parents, I was quite the poet when I was in third grade, and apparently it was time for me to go back to my roots. In what is aptly called "The Untitled Movement Class Poem," I wrote about the funny things that our instructor would say to us, how we'd spend an hour and a half just breathing on the floor, and when his dog would visit for the day. Re-reading that poem reminded me of how much happiness I got out of that class, how much better I'd feel after the stretches and warm-ups we'd do, and how clear-minded I felt after our five-minute meditations. Waking up at 8am everyday, and staying up until 3am to finish journal entries, and doing the weird speech exercises to loosen up our voices, none of these things felt like chores to me. I loved doing them, and I loved performing; I still do love those warm-ups and I still love performing.

After reading this poem I went back to my schedule for the upcoming class semester and said, "let's fix this." I registered for voice lessons again and emailed my movement instructor about doing an Independent Study course with him, and he agreed to take me on. I scoured the course listings and cross-checked degree requirements probably 20 times in one week, and I came up with a plan for the rest of my college career. Without that little poem of mine, I would not be waking up extra early on Tuesdays to stretch before putting on a neutral mask, or examining my posture everyday in a mirror, I wouldn't be about to stage manage a show! I would be okay, but not happy, not satisfied with what I did in college. None of what I'm doing feels like a chore to me, and I couldn't be happier now.

While I might've written the poem that got me back into theater; that doesn't mean you have to light your own spark. It might be a James Joyce rambling, Ancient Greek epic poem, or even a Shakespearean sonnet (numbers 116, 18, and 23 are my favorites!) that reignites your passion for the theater. The point is that poetry helped me fall back in love with performing, and it may just help you.