Student Blog: A Change In Me

I don't think I speak alone when I say that this year has been a crazy one. From adapting to life and school in a pandemic to discovering new and exciting ways to create theatre- there have surely been a lot of ups and downs over the past few months. This school year has taught me so much about myself as an artist, but more importantly as a person. I discovered many new things about how I like to work, the type of art I enjoy, and how I want to present myself to the world.

As I reflect on the 2020-2021 school year, I feel incredibly grateful towards the opportunities, obstacles, challenges, and new experiences that I have encountered. Dance classes with masks were, of course, not my favorite thing in the world, but being back in a studio again with my peers was the best gift I could have ever received. While school can be tiring and there were days that I just wanted to lay around in my dorm room and watch How I Met Your Mother with my roommate, I am so lucky that I was able to continue learning and training in my craft with my classmates. While following all of the health guidelines put in place by the

State of New York and the CDC, my school was able to move forward safely with in-person classes for both the fall and spring semester. I feel so appreciative towards LIU Post and the Post Theatre Company, my theatre department at school, for taking the necessary precautions and ensuring that I could have a mostly-normal school year.

I had some great moments of success this year, from good grades to fun productions to personal highs. I am so proud of all of the challenges that I was able to overcome this year. Now, this doesn't mean that it wasn't a hard year. There were tons of tears shed, as well as many mistakes made. Moments where I felt so small and so unworthy of my success. Moments where I was ready to quit training in the arts and find a different major. Moments where I felt as if my work was not of a high caliber and that I was falling behind compared to my classmates. Moments where it felt like the world was crumbling around me. However, I persevered. I overcame it. I conquered those feelings of inadequacy. I was able to remind myself that while change can be scary, it is necessary for growth. In those moments where I just wanted to give up, I kept fighting and pushing forward. I believed in myself when others did not. And because of all of this, I came out stronger, more confident in myself as a person and as an artist, and more open to change and new experiences.

As I reflect on this past year, I figured I would share with you all the advice and lessons that I have learned from Here are a few more things that I learned this year as a sophomore BFA Musical Theatre major:

1. Believe in yourself. It is something that seems so easy yet can be the most challenging thing to do. It might sound cheesy, but you are one-in-a-million. No one is like you! You are so special, talented, and unique. You can do things that no one else can! Your gifts are personal to you and it would be a shame if you didn't share them with the world. Also, I learned that when it seems like no one else believes in you, it is up to you to believe in yourself. Believe that you can, and you certainly will.
2. You are strong. You are SO strong. Our bodies and minds are a lot tougher than we make them out to be. We go through so many hardships, losses, heartbreaks, and rejections (especially in the theatre industry), that it can be easy to discredit our feelings. However, we always make it through. We always keep pushing forward and moving on with our lives. That there is proof alone of how strong we are. I realized this year that I have the strength and endurance to push through any problems placed on my path. I know now that I have the power to overcome anything that I put my mind to.
3. Take Breaks! Due to the pandemic, we had no fall or spring breaks during our semester which certainly took a toll on my mental health. It is very challenging to push through the school year, constantly working, with no days off or a chance to catch our breath. Although it took a while for me to learn that it was okay to take a break for self-care every now and then- once I did, it was a lifesaver. Those breaks helped me to take care of myself physically and mentally as I pushed through my singing, acting, and dance classes day after day. Self-care is super important and beneficial to everyone, regardless of what major they are in.
4. Positivity is key. While it can be hard of course to stay positive 24/7 as obstacles and challenges are being thrown at you left and right, it is important to try and be optimistic when the going gets tough. I have found in my own life that when I do my best to be positive during difficult situations that everything works out in the end and I feel much more calm and in control. When I allow negativity to overcome my life, I tend to feel stuck and anxious. By staying positive this year, I was able to have a much better time academically and socially.
5. Remember that art is subjective. It can be very hard training in theatre and being vulnerable with the craft all the time while being graded on an academic scale. Performing Arts Education is challenging in the sense that it is hard to grade the work put forward because it is subjective. Everyone is going to have a different opinion about your artwork, and at the end of the day, it only truly matters how you felt about it. Growing up, education was always super important to me and I was always focused on getting good grades. While this is good, it made my transition into a BFA Musical Theatre program more challenging because I had to focus more on the art I was creating and worry less about the grades, which was not easy for me. I would get so caught up in getting an "A" that I wouldn't take risks or put myself out there. However, this year has taught me that grades aren't as important as the work I am creating. At the end of the day, I'd rather make a piece of art that I am proud of rather than stress about my GPA. I see it as in five years, I am going to remember the beautiful art I created in college, rather than the letter grade that I received for it.

All in all, sophomore year was a whirlwind of emotions, obstacles, and wins. It taught me so much about myself and also opened my eyes to all of the possibilities that I have in store for my life. I am excited to see what my junior year of college will bring me... but I am also so ready for summer break!