BWW Blog: Take Off Those Drama Romance Goggles - Part 2

If you're reading this, it's probably because for some unknown-to-GOD reason, you're still in love with your Romeo. And by Romeo, I of course mean LITERALLY he PLAYED Romeo Montague--probably in some off-hand amateur production of Romeo and Juliet and never shuts up about it--not your star-crossed lover. So what happened? Your DRAMA GOGGLES are still getting the best of you? Well, if my theory about Straight Drama Boys (read part 1 here), or SDBs, as I call them with only the deepest of adoration, being graded on a two-point curve didn't scare you off, here's more rationale from a true insider, because I admittedly once wore drama goggles with the strongest of prescriptions.

In a world full of football players, business men, and Cornell EMTs who your Mother keeps begging you to marry, God handed you a 5'7 high functioning sociopath in horn-rimmed glasses and said "Deal With It." So why, with the self-awareness of a self-respecting badass woman, do you find the Youtube video of his self-tape so f*cking charming? Well, let's talk proxemics for a hot sec: a theory called the propinquity effect, or, put more simply, the Mere Exposure Effect, dictates that the more we are exposed to a certain stimulus, the more likely we are to enjoy it. Seeing as how acting is quite literally the most intimate career path out there, Drama Goggles are not just beer goggles with a jazzy twist, but an actual SCIENCE. So I SUPPOSE it's justified--ugh, right?

Speaking of scientific theory, let's get a little FREUDIAN. I won't jump to the generalized conclusion that all Straight Drama Boys are obsessed with Freud (just the ones I like, apparently) but I WILL state the hypothesis that a large majority of them DO have some serious Mommy Issues. With your vision impaired by Drama Goggles, nothing beats the thrill of popping your onstage love interest's pimples or making sure the kid in your math class who just got cast as Marius in Les Mis eats a well-balanced breakfast because nobody ever really taught him how. Once you take them off, you'll be traumatized to find that upon meeting your favorite SDB's Mother at a stage door, you kinda weirdly look like her.

All straight male drama teachers were SDBs in their own time, so if you ever feel like wailing dramatically about your feelings for a Straight Drama Boy Sharpay Evans style, I would suggest scheduling an office hour or--hey, storming in unannounced--and talking to your teacher or Professor about it. It will function as the necessary therapy session that comes from being subject to Drama Goggles without actually paying $300 an hour for cognitive behavioral therapy. While sitting in his special spinny chair and complaining about how much it sucks to act as a mother to a manchild in tight Adidas soccer pants, you'll get the reassurance and closure you need to maybe, just MAYBE move on.

There's no arguing that there's a sense of emotional depth that only acting training can provide, but do we really need guys who tell us that "when [they're] sad, [they're] DEPRESSED. When [they're] happy, [they're] EUPHORIC?" A FaceTime girl's night with my SDG-friends dictated that we all need a break from "actor boys," but like every addict, we're all doomed to relapse. At least we're highly informed..right?

(And yes, the pimple popping was real, and NO, I am NOT proud of it and I'm not quite sure what's wrong with me).