BWW Blog: In the Moment

16 weeks, 112 days, that's how long I have left until graduation. The days are long, but the weeks are quick, one blink and it'll all be over before I know it. My motivation seems to be lacking lately. Sitting through Zoom classes is a drag and I'm beyond over stressing over assignments and papers. I just want to be done, but at the same time a part of me isn't sure I'm ready for what comes next.

My friends who have already graduated tell me to enjoy it while I'm still here because one day I will miss this part of my life dearly. I have no doubt that I will miss it. These past four years have been everything to me. I've met some of the most important people in my life, I've made mistakes and more importantly learned from them, taken more risks than I can count, and lived through all of the crazy stories I've written in my journal. I've shed many tears and shared tons of laughs and honestly I'm just not ready for it to end, but at the same time I'm ready to move on to bigger things.

I try not to worry about things that aren't right in front of me, but sometimes I just can't help it. Post grad scares me. The unknown scares me. Pre pandemic I thought I knew how this would all go down. The fall was to be spent in senior seminar preparing for the impending audition season, the winter would be spent traveling and auditioning, and the spring would be spent having fun with friends celebrating the last four years. Then I would graduate and in the following fall I would move and start my professional career. But now that we're in a pandemic, senior year really doesn't look how I imagined it.

I've been doing my best to still find the silver lining this year though. For example, I have more time to work on myself and rest. I've spent many weekends laughing and getting lost hiking in the mountains with my friend. I have been more intentional with how I spend my time and have not taken any moments for granted because now I know how quickly things can really just disappear and it's made me re-evaluate how I live my life.

We can't stress about tomorrow when today isn't even over yet. We have to be present in every moment we are in because if we spend it worrying about the next, we'll miss all this season of life has to offer us.

Of course I'd rather not be in a pandemic, but nothing happens by accident. This is where I am supposed to be right here, right now in this season of my life. I have to trust everything will work out the way it's supposed to. Graduation will be here soon enough and when it finally rolls around I know I'll be ready for what comes next. It's ok that I'm not ready now because thankfully I'm not graduating tomorrow.

So enjoy every last day you have left of senior year. Enjoy all the classes you have, all the projects, and adventures with your friends. Even embrace the unique levels of stress college causes you. Indulge in the whole experience and don't blink for too long because 112 days will go by a lot faster than you want it to. I'll be closing this chapter of my life soon enough, so believe me when I say I'm soaking up every last day I have left.

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