BWW Blog: (Broadway) Playlist of My Life

Everyone has those songs that changed everything for them. Teen Vogue started a series of Youtube videos in which celebrities are given the chance to create a short playlist with the anthems that are most important and special to them. This playlist serves as a sort of soundtrack to their lives, a collection of memories expressed through song. I am obsessed with the idea, as I believe you can tell the most about a person by what kind of music they listen to. This being said, I was inspired to put my own spin on this concept. Today, I'll be listing the top ten songs that make up the (Broadway) playlist of my life.

1. On My Own - Les Miserables. Moving from Florida to Virginia, cleaning my room, movie theaters / Christmas 2012. I have to put this song first because Les Miserables was that show for me. You know, the one show everyone has that first sparked their love for Broadway. I always wanted to be Eponine, not Cosette or Fantine. I think Eponine is one of the greatest characters in not only Les Miz, but in all of Broadway. She sacrificed everything for Marius, and "On My Own" is a melodic representation of just that. I sang it in the shower every night for about a year, as if my twelve-year-old self could relate.

"I love him
But when the night is over
He is gone
The river's just a river
Without him
The world around me changes
The trees are bare and everywhere
The streets are full of strangers"

2. Light My Candle - Rent. Cold weather, basements, dancing / Winter 2014. Middle school me wanted to be Mimi Marquez so bad. Looking back now, she might not have been the best role model to emulate. Still, I love her and always wish I could be as carefree as she is. She knows what she wants and goes after it, in this song's case, Roger. Mimi loves harder than most characters and cares deeply for those around her. Actually, maybe we should strive to be more like her after all.

ROGER
Cold hands
MIMI
Yours too.
Big. Like my father's
You wanna dance?
ROGER
With you?
MIMI
No -- with my father
ROGER
I'm Roger
MIMI
They call me
They call me Mimi

3. Satisfied - Hamilton. Washing dishes, memorizing lyrics on my laptop, rap battles in the car / Summer 2015. "Satisfied" and Hamilton as a whole always bring back some of my greatest, most favorite memories. Angelica is so deeply complex but simple at the same time, she really is just a girl who loves her sister more than anything. My own sister is my bestest, most faithful and true friend. I'm not in love with my brother-in-law, but I know how Angelica feels in terms of wanting nothing but the absolute best for your sister.

If I tell her that I love him she'd be silently resigned
He'd be mine
She would say "I'm fine"
She'd be lying
But when I fantasize at night, it's Alexander's eyes
As I romanticize what might have been if I hadn't sized
Him up so quickly
At least my dear Eliza's his wife
At least I keep his eyes in my life

4. There Are Worse Things I Could Do - Grease. Birthdays, group hangouts, favorite Summer of my life / Summer 2016. I have been known to always sympathize with the "villain" in most narratives. In Grease, Rizzo is the one we kind of assume we're not supposed to root for, she's a bit stuck-up and the complete opposite of Sandy. Truth be told, I prefer Rizzo to Sandy. She tries to be herself, but most of the time, no one pays attention. Rizzo taught me to try and never judge a book by it's cover, something we all struggle with at one point or another.

I could hurt someone like me
Out of spite or jealousy
I don't steal and I don't lie
But I can feel and I can cry
A fact I'll bet you never knew
But to cry in front of you
That's the worst thing I could do

5. I Can Do Better Than That - The Last Five Years. Laying on the couch, Mexican food, Christmas / Winter 2016. The title of "perfectionist" was not one I wanted to claim for myself. I thought, "Perfectionists are so boring, and stubborn!" ... guess what? I'm a perfectionist. I've learned to accept it. Little things matter to me, I love details and plans. This song is one that is close to my heart, as someone who constantly thinks she can do better than (insert literally anything here). I always think something is missing, often resulting in checking or re-doing everything about five times, this is also known as insanity. This song represents letting go, or trying to let go, of this feeling in exception for realizing that what is in front of you is enough.

I thought about what I wanted
It wasn't like that at all
Made Carolann a cute baby sweater
Thinking "I can do better than that"
In a year or so, I moved to the city
Thinking "What have I got to lose?"

6. It Won't Be Long Now - In The Heights. Carpool karaoke, Richmond, the best bread rolls I've ever had / Summer 2017. I have always felt such a strong emotional connection to Vanessa. I think we're quite alike in a number of ways, but this song is the moment in the show I relate the most to her. I've wanted to live in New York my whole life, and "It Won't Be Long Now" perfectly encapsulates that dream that I spend most days trying to make into a reality.

The neighborhood salon doesn't pay me what I wanna be making but I don't mind
As I sweep the curb I can hear those turbo engines blazing a trail through the sky
I look up and think about the years gone by
But one day, I'm walkin' to JFK and I'm gonna fly!
It won't be long now
Any day

7. Seventeen - Heathers. Junior year of High School, snow, standardized tests / Winter 2017. "Seventeen" will always remind me of driving back to my house in the snow after taking my AP English exam when I was freshly seventeen. This song is so special to me because it reminds me of a time in my life when I truly found myself and learned how to be nothing but that, a bit like Veronica does at the end of Heathers (but without the murders).

Fine!
We're "damaged"
Really "damaged"
But that does not make us "wise"
We're not "special", we're not "different"
We don't choose who lives or dies

8. When He Sees Me - Waitress. Family, weddings, Ellen's Stardust Diner / Summer 2018. As much as I hate to admit it, Dawn and I seem to share a lot in common. I am definitely one to do things by the book, and am often called "picky" by those who know me. I think Dawn and I can both agree that having particular taste can just be simplified to having high standards. Is that really such a bad thing? Okay, maybe. Especially when sitting too close is a deal breaker.

What if when he sees meI like him and he knows it?
What if he opens up a door
And I can't close it?
What happens then?
If when he holds me
My heart is set in motion
I'm not prepared for that
I'm scared of breaking open

9. The Wizard And I - Wicked. Rain, orange leaves, black tights / Fall 2019. I finally saw Wicked for the first time on Broadway in New York this past year. It felt like the absolute peak of being a lover of Broadway for me, like nothing could ever top it. I had just started college, my sister was soon to have my baby nephew, and the city in November is, for lack of a better word, perfect. Now, in the midst of a global pandemic and six-month-long Broadway shutdown, it's even more special to me as it serves as a reminder to hold onto sweet memories.

And I'll stand there with the Wizard
Feeling things I've never felt
And though I'd never show it
I'd be so happy, I could melt
And so it will be for the rest of my life
And I'll want nothing else 'til I die

10. Here I Go - If/Then. Driving, coffee, quarantine / Spring 2020. I recently have discovered that Elizabeth and I are the same person. It's quite scary, really. When I listened to this song for the first time I had to pause it to get a tissue. Elizabeth is not a believer of fate or destiny (are you picking up on a theme yet?), and she, sometimes too closely, follows logic to make decisions. She's fearful of vulnerability, she's incredibly cautious. Yet, in spite of all of this, she learns she must not miss out on what could be.

You know deep down, I'm a coward
Afraid to let you in
But the only thing more frightening
Is to say "What might have been?"

Well, I hope you learned a thing or two about me. If not, go listen to these songs in their entirety and maybe get back to me on that. If you make a playlist like mine, send it to me! I'd love to hear it.

Happy listening!