Review: THE DARK ROOM, Soho Theatre

“You awake to find yourself in a dark room”

Walking into the Soho Theatre Downstairs, you are greeted by a dark room. Two screens stand on opposite sides of the stage, each displaying the same foreboding message - “You are about to die.” What exactly have I signed up for? 

The Dark Room, “the world’s only live-action, text-based adventure game,” is hosted by John Robertson, an “improv comedy overlord” who appears on stage, lit only by a torch he holds up to his face. For those unfamiliar with the show, he explains the concept - he will be selecting players to make choices and attempt to escape the dark room they have been placed in. They must select from four options each round, with the first four options being “Find light switch,” “Sleep,” “Why?” or “Go North.”

The options get more bizarre as the game continues, with some highlights including “Feet,” “Czech pockets” and “Click heels together for Stalin.”  If the player wins, they receive £1,000. If they fail, well, they die! The game itself is based on video games from the 1980s, where they “didn’t have fancy graphics . . . or fun,” but luckily for us, The Dark Room is full of fun moments.

Robertson is a brilliant and insanely energetic host who is able to choose audience members who will make for great fun as players, with him constantly roasting them for their choices both in the game and out. Each player is quickly renamed “Darren” and is referred to by their profession. Our players included “IT Consultant Darren” and “Youth Worker Darren.” Along with having a knack for picking players, Robertson is fantastic with crowd work and is easily able to deal with hecklers being loud and annoying for the sake of attention. 

By the end of the first game, it was clear that many people in the audience had been to The Dark Room before, as each game begins with the crowd saying, “You awake to find yourself in a dark room,” and, when they die, a loud chant of “Ya die! Ya die! Ya die!” Players who die are given a “treasure” - a random item from a table on the stage. Highlights include a “flamboyant potato” (a pineapple), old video games, and multiple copies of The Day After Tomorrow. The reactions of the prize winners are hilarious, as Robertson does a fantastic job of making them think they’re getting a better prize before throwing something entirely random at them. 

Even though the graphics of the game are simple, they’re quite fun and easy to read. One particular highlight was when a player’s choices lead them into a new game, “The Dark Lighthouse,” in which they have to manage a lighthouse while attempting to avoid catching smallpox and dying. Another audience member is brought into the game to play Soggy Bob, only being able to say the words “soggy” and “bob,” which leads to some hilarious interactions between Robertson and Soggy Bob. The story takes a dramatic turn with some poetry about the ocean which nearly had me in tears of laughter. Even though Darren failed to survive, Soggy Bob was a winner in all of our hearts.

The final round, “Democracy Dark Room,” sends the Soho Theatre Downstairs into chaos, with audience members screaming out their choices in a desperate attempt to be heard and acknowledged by Robertson. With only seconds left, we unfortunately failed to escape the room, concluding the show with all of us chanting “Ya Die!” at the top of our lungs. Robertson gives his final treasure away, the flamboyant potato, which is given to the audience member responsible for bringing Soggy Bob to life. 

Ultimately, The Dark Room is a fascinating show that will definitely appeal to video game fans, particularly those with a nostalgia for the 1980s and a love for game shows. It’s clear that Robertson has been hosting this for a long time as he is able to not only control the crowd but get everyone excited, rooting for one another to escape “The Dark Room.”

The Dark Room ran on 12 January at Soho Theatre.

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