Review: SÉAYONCÉ’S PERKY NATIVITITTIES, Yard Theatre

In Séayoncé’s latest adventure, Dan Wye’s joins forces with her ex-lover Satan to put on an anti-Christmas TV show. Well, that’s the plan at least: before long, she discovers that she has been duped by another former amour Santa to deliver the “real” message of the season. With the help of her sidekick Lesley-Anne (Robyn Herfellow) on keys, she battles the jolly red-and-white giant with a raft of twisted songs, filthy skits and a smidge of audience interaction.

Fans of previous outings from Wye’s creation like 2022’s Res-Erection, 2023’s Res-Erection: The Second Cummin and this summer’s She Must Be Hung will know what kind of shenanigans are up Séayoncé’s sleeve for her Perky Nativititties (as she herself might opine: try saying that with your mouth full). The musical numbers are as camp as ever and this time are all based on carols like a trippy take on “Ding Dong Merrily on High” that throws in mentions of Gloria Gaynor and Meryl Streep. Lesley-Anne is still the not-very-friendly neighbourhood serial killer and a fun homicidal cover of “Twelve Days of Christmas” dreams up reasons why she definitely didn’t murder Saint Nick. 

The arch wordplay is present and correct and continues to be very much at the level of Carry On films (“I’m not a drill sergeant,” the psychic says at one point. “I think of ‘drill sergeant’ as more of a command”). And (of course) the psychic is once again possessed, this time by Jesus “the H is for homosexual” Christ with a hokey Chelsea accent thick enough to spread butter on. We find out that the disciples are all her pet twinks; when they go out, Jesus just orders water for them all (“wink”) and Judas is not a traitor, merely the kind of backstabber that Jesus would happily bend over for.

Gags around all things proctological have been the bread-and-butter of drag queens for as long as they have existed but rarely have they been delivered as they are here with so little panache or with the sharpness of Blu-tack. Take, for example, a version of “Little Drummer Boy” built around the refrain of “cum in my bum” which stretches one poor idea into too many minutes. In between the rare moments of commendable silliness, Wye bludgeons us with half-baked double-entendres and basic jokes that would struggle to outdo those found in Christmas crackers.

The gal in the blue turban and nifty kaftan may be a medium but this show certainly isn’t: this is Séayoncé’s longest run and, at around two hours including interval, Perky Nativititties is noticeably baggy in places. Producing two full-length new shows in one year would stretch most artists and, while She Must Be Hung came with buckets of queer fun as well as a serious message we could all get behind, this one struggles to stand out.

Séayoncé’s Perky Nativititties continues at Yard Theatre until 21 December

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