Review: I'M GONNA MARRY YOU TOBEY MAGUIRE, Southwark Playhouse

Ever wanted to experience a sugar rush for nearly two hours straight? Samantha Hurley’s campy dark comedy I’m Gonna Marry You Tobey Maguire feels like exactly that. Complete with lipgloss, butterfly clips, and Cosmo mag, it’s a noughties teen fever dream.

From the premise alone, it’s clear that audiences are in for a wild ride. The show opens as middle schooler Shelby Hinkley (Tessa Albertson) has just kidnapped Spiderman heartthrob Tobey Maguire (Anders Hayward) and handcuffed him to a pole in her basement. Yes, literally. Her plan is to hold a wedding and make Tobey her "awfully wedded" husband, but it soon becomes clear that neither Tobey’s life nor her own is as sweet as it may seem. Fresh from a run in NYC, the show comes to Southwark Playhouse’s smaller space for its UK premiere. 

Albertson, as President of the Tobey Maguire Fan Club Shelby Hinkley, exudes an almost inhuman level of energy throughout the play, running, dancing, and singing around the stage and chewing every word of dialogue like gum. Honestly, she's a little bit scary. Anders Hayward is a great foil as Tobey, his befuddled panic playing well against Albertson’s unabashed confidence. Meanwhile, Kyle Birch gets several scene-stealing moments multi-roling as all the other characters, managing to elicit laughter from just a sigh or a nod. 

Conceptually, I’m Gonna Marry You Tobey Maguire is fantastic. Obsessive fandom, always a hot topic in our current climate of Swifties and BTS, is put under the microscope in what is both a riotous parody and a surprisingly insightful look at what really drives these kinds of parasocial relationships. It’s also undeniably some of the most fun you can possibly have in a theatre, from slapstick to some very iconic noughties needle drops and pop culture references (“Leave Britney alone!”). Looking around the theatre, it’s clear that everyone there is having the time of their life, and the shared laughter and incredulous stares make for an electric atmosphere. 

Part of the magic of I’m Gonna Marry You Tobey Maguire is the show’s immersion in the mind of an early 2000s teenage girl. In a room plastered with magazine posters and fairy lights, Shelby spends her time dancing to Avril Lavigne, filling out Cosmo quizzes, and chatting to online friends. Beyond that, though, it’s relatable to anyone who’s been a teenage girl in any era – sure, Shelby’s actions are rather more extreme than most people’s teenage experience, but who hasn’t made some questionable choices amidst teenage rejection or bullying? Hurley’s writing strikes the right balance of empathy for its heroine, and acknowledgement that kidnapping a Hollywood actor is, well, absolutely nuts.

Despite being fully scripted, the show has a distinctly improvised feel about it, owing in part to its slow, meandering pace and many interludes and tangents. A lot of the time it’s not really clear what exactly is happening – sometimes this is part of the fun, but it can also get more than a little confusing. As the show goes on, it does feel like it loses the plot, in both senses of the phrase. The primary issue is a lack of direction and pacing: to an extent it feels like the show could have begun or ended at any point. Cut down to a tight, Fringe-style hour, it would have been far sharper, able to squeeze out every laugh while also sharpening its examination of fan culture. 

Nonetheless, I’m Gonna Marry You Tobey Maguire is the kind of show that has to be seen to be believed. With Rodrigo Hernandez Martinez’s set design, Southwark Playhouse has been transformed into one big Tobey shrine: the walls are plastered with magazine pages of his face, even including the toilet stall doors. Tere’s a life-sized cardboard cut-out, and "I love Tobey" is written in chalk on the pavement outside. It’s like a teenage Tumblr blog come to life.

I’m Gonna Marry You Tobey Maguire is a surreal trip through the extremes of celebrity obsession. Despite its messy pacing and lack of structure, it’s a piece of theatre truly like nothing else. Personally, I’d just like to know what Tobey Maguire thinks about it all. 

I'm Gonna Marry You Tobey Maguire runs at Southwark Playhouse (Borough) until 10 August

Photo Credits: Manuel Harlan

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