Review: HOW TO SURVIVE YOUR MOTHER, King's Head Theatre

‘Write what you know.’ A statement made famous by writer Mark Twain. But what if you don’t know? What if you write to make sense of what you think you know? That is the question posed by writer and actor, Jonathan Maitland, in his new play How To Survive Your Mother.

An actor is often directed to ‘live in the moment’, to really be in that place emotionally, to live truthfully in a given set of circumstances. What if the actor’s stage circumstances are also his real life moments? What if, night after night, he is reliving the hardest years of his life, truthfully, brilliantly, and openly for an audience to watch, inviting them to form opinions, perhaps to cast judgement?

Directed brilliantly by Oliver Dawe, Maitland’s dramedy explores his fraught relationship with his mother as he grew up in the 1960s and how that experience has affected his approach to his own responsibilities as the parent of a son. Told through the use of physical theatre, music, multi-roling and fourth wall-breaking, this play embarks on an emotional and psychological journey to discover just what can be classed as trauma, and what is just naturally a consequence of who we are. To quote Maitland himself, “This is not based on a true story... this is a true story.”

He recalls his life with his Mother through three stages: childhood; his twentysomething years; and then as himself in the present day, all the time dealing with the repercussions of his mother’s actions. From growing up in the old people’s home his parents ‘run’, to observing their divorce after his mother implicates his father in adultery (only then to marry the private investigator she hired to facilitate it), along with many other seemingly outlandish tales. Maitland pleads for our belief saying,  “The big stuff is genuine. You couldn’t make it up”. Though far from the redemptive catharsis we might expect, the play appears to have left its creator with as many questions as answers.

The supporting cast also wade into some psychologically deep waters playing multiple but connected roles. Emma Davies goes from playing the mother to then playing the wife, and Peter Clements doubles as Maitland’s stepfather in his childhood and then as Maitland himself in his twenties. Plenty there to suggest how those who raise us, make us - a key subtext in the play.

The cast as a whole are excellent across their parts, with accent work a standout, underpinning the narrative and allowing the audience to differentiate easily, as new characters are introduced (not always the case on the fringe!) 

The issue of using humour to cope may land differently with different members of the audience, as what does and does not constitute appropriate and inappropriate references will vary from Boomers like Maitland himself, to Millennials to Generation X and on to Gen Z. One’s reaction to, for example an OJ Simpson gag, may very much depend where you sit on the age spectrum above.   

Despite those issues, Maitland achieves something in this autobiographical show that is rarely sighted - Truth. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be to relive the life and, in the end, the death, of one’s mother night after night, even if the relationship was strained, turning toxic for a variety of reasons. All that after the stress of writing it too. His centrality to the production is key - he relives his truth eight times a week. 

A conclusion may be that sometimes the best way to find clarity in chaos is to write it into the story. How to Survive Your Mother is a beautiful and moving production that received the ovation it deserved on opening night before we returned to our own quest for such clarity in our own version of chaos. 

How To Survive Your Mother at the King's Head Theatre until 24 November

Photo Credits: Charles Flint

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