Review: FRANK'S CLOSET, Union Theatre

“Divas unite in the starlight”

We all have someone that we look up to - for some, it’s a parent. For others, it’s a friend. But for Frank (Andy Moss), it’s divas - Marie Lloyd, Julie Andrews, Ethel Merman, Judy Garland, Agnetha Faltskog and Dusty Springfield, to be precise. Frank’s Closet, written and composed by Stuart Wood and directed by Sasha Regan, takes audience members on a journey through “a fantasy world” where Frank is “The Chairman of The Music Hall,” using costumes he’s collected to summon the divas who wore them. 

Moss as Frank is a decent protagonist, one whom we sympathise with as he is forced to part with some of his prized possessions, the most special one being the golden cape belonging to Agnetha Faltskog of ABBA fame. We get a bit of backstory from him, growing up as a closeted gay man who has fallen in love with Alan and is planning on marrying him tomorrow. The titular closet is his place to escape to, where he can escape into another world where he is embraced by the divas he so greatly admires. 

The divas, all played by the talented Luke Farrugia, are each given a song and a chance to give Frank some advice before his wedding. It was incredible to see Farrugia switch between women like Julie Andrews and Ethel Merman, changing not only his appearance but his voice and mannerisms with ease. I particularly enjoyed his performance as Marie Lloyd, a 19th-century diva of English music halls, which included the incredibly catchy “The Boys of London Town.” Indeed, it is the songs of the divas that tend to get stuck in your head the most, including the beautiful “Nobody Told Me I Was A Girl” and the fantastic “ABBA Made Me Gay.”

But even though Frank may be the main character, and the divas have their moments to shine, the stars of the show are the Gaity Girls - Gertie Snipe (Jack Rose), Daisy Dares (Sarah Freer), Carrie Poppers (Olivia McBride) and Alice Plate (Oliver Bradley-Taylor), who are the Greek chorus of Frank’s Closet, guiding the audience through the show and providing endless entertainment with their gorgeous vocals (those harmonies!) and Jo McShane’s choreography. They even make an appearance during the interval before we re-enter the closet! Along with the Gaiety Girls, I was also impressed by the costumes (Steven Metcalfe) and set (Catherine Phelps) that truly made the show feel like it had come straight from a music hall with bright colours and extravagant accessories. 

One of the main issues I have with the show is its plot, which gets a bit confusing. Frank has spent decades collecting a range of costumes from different divas, but for some reason, his partner Alan has told him that he must get rid of all of them by donating them to the V&A. We never learn why Alan is making Frank do this, or even much about Alan in general, other than a brief appearance at the end of the show. Why does Frank want to marry someone who is making him give up something he holds so dear?

The character of Sheila Blige (Paul Toulson) is also a bit confusing - why is she joining the audience in the preshow and the interval? What role does she play within Frank’s head? What does she mean to him? I certainly enjoyed Toulson’s performance but wish that the character had been given more of a purpose. 

There were also a few technical issues, including a recurring problem where it was difficult to hear the singers over both the live and recorded music (live musicians Sam Balchin and Peter Crocker, as well as Musical Director Anto Buckley, are a delight to listen to, though!). While some, like McBride, could be easily heard with their dazzling belt, others, including Moss, could not win the fight over the sound, leading to many unheard lyrics. 

Frank’s Closet is a lovely celebration of queerness and pays tribute to some great divas, but struggles to find its voice in between the joy and angst. With a stronger plot and smoother sound, it could truly become a great revival that comes back to bring some camp to London. 

Frank’s Closet runs until 30 March at the Union Theatre.

Image Credit: Union Theatre

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