Review: A VERY NAUGHTY CHRISTMAS, Southwark Playhouse Elephant

With an abundance of witty filth (and filthy wit), A Very Naughty Christmas is an adults-only musical burlesque which has come straight up from down under.

This show that has proved a hit in its native Australia and wears with pride its unashamedly debauched humour as well as its graphic and sexually explicit verbal imagery. It comes from the same venue that hosted the brilliant mashup of drag, comedy and circus that is Briefs Factory but here the emphasis is far more on twisted covers, sassy stripping and gleefully sordid jokes. 

There is no plot as such and any attempt to develop one fizzles out after a short while. Instead, the evening is a series of sketches, skits and songs that each start off with a seasonal vibe then soon veer off into more mature territory. A rendition of “Jingle Bells” turns into a tale of unwashed genitalia and STIs, “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” paints a far more randy encounter than in Tommie Connor’s original, and Michael Bublé’s “It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” is remarkably innocent until the toys mentioned in the lyrics are brought out and revealed to be from Ann Summers rather than Hamlyns. 

This debut UK outing sees Stephen Hirst as the root of the most deliciously evil set pieces. His Santa thrives on rolling out the rude and crude even when introducing the band: percussionist Lisa Martin “bangs the drums then bangs your mum” while musical director and pianist Jo King “was in the army but was thrown out for fingering A Major”. During a section which sees him relate the nativity story, Hirst sends off a helper to sniff out a virgin in the crowd to play Mary; asked by the elf “what does a virgin smell like?”, he puts on a serial killer grin and responds “Opportunity!” Not all of the material feels fresh but this experienced actor knows how to get the best out of his lines.

Other cast members (Alexia Brinsley, Kirby Burgess, Shay Debney, Jack Lark, Rachel MacDougall, Chris O’Mara and Rebecca Rolle) all play parts in Santa’s crew and get their own solo spots but it is the group efforts that stand out. Director and choreographer Daniel Venz makes beautiful use of the space and, whether sat in the cabaret tables nearest the action or in the balconies above, he makes a conscious effort to make everyone feel included. The dance numbers - including a wickedly sharp tap sequence and another that riffs off The Greatest Show on Legs’ infamous Naked Balloon Dance - are snappy and charming and a refreshing contrast to the relaxed and louche nature of the skits written by Hirst, Semple and Emily Kristopher. 

When the depravity is ignored, the skits fare worst of all: nods to the UK (including Waitrose, Tesco and Euston station) feel forced and are superfluous in the scheme of things. Some songs outstay their welcome even when they come with a juicy premise while a sketch in which a brand expert tries to persuade Santa that he should be fatter, beardier and a slave to political correctness falls flatter than motorway roadkill.

Despite that, the supremely sweary and often outrageous A Very Naughty Christmas is a welcome alternative to the family-friendly fare that swamps theatres at this time of year.

A Very Naughty Christmas continues at the Southwark Playhouse Elephant until 11 January 2025

Photo supplied by PR

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