Quotes from Jerry Springer the Opera

A sampling of lyrics from Jerry Springer the Opera…
Warning: Not for the faint of heart, or those bothered by harsh language.

Tremont If you're dead and lying in the grass,

I'll dig you up and fuck you up the ass.

Ensemble You're so tacky, you're so sad, cos your brother is your dad,

You're so slow, you're so dumb, cos you live off gay men's come.

Chorus (on Satan) In fact he's a total cunt.. What a cunt! What a cunt!

What a f-ing f-ing f-ing f-ing cunt!"

Jerry Jesus, Satan has something he wants to tell you. Go ahead Satan.

Satan (to Jesus) Fuck you.

Chorus Bring on the f-ing Klan!

Jerry Well, I guess it'd be rude not to, so please welcome the KluKluxKlan.

KKK This is our Jerry Springer moment (the Klan tap dance)

We don't want this moment to die (tap tap tap tap)

So dip us in chocolate and throw us to the lesbians

We don't want this moment to die! (full blown tap number)

Jews and blacks'll go to Hell!

New York democrats as well.

We don't want this moment to die!

Jerry Please welcome, Adam and Eve

Adam Put your f-ing clothes on, you stupid bitch

Eve Don't you touch me or I'll kill you in your sleep, cocksucker.

Adam You look ridiculous.

Eve Talk to the ass!

Adam All women are whores, whores or sluts or prostitutes

Shawntel But one day he awoke to a scene that made him heave -

He'd been drugged up and fucked by some sailors on leave.

Jerry Please welcome the teenage mother of Jesus - Mary

Chorus (She was) Raped by an angel! Raped by an angel!

Jesus (hits Mary)

Jerry Oh that's just great, Jesus - you hit a woman

Dwight I've been seeing someone else.

Peaches What the fuck? What the fuck? What the f-ing f-ing fuck?

Jerry Let's bring out Peaches' best friend, please welcome Sandra.

Chorus Dirty whore! Dirty whore! Filthy dirty slut whore! Slut junkie!

Montel It might seem a pathetic, like sure lack of class.

I only feel the real me, when the shit's pouring out of my ass.

If you feel blue, my advice to you is..

Poop your f-ing pants! (x 6)

Jerry Springer the Opera plays at the Cambridge Theatre prior to a Broadway transfer.

For more information and to buy tickets, visit www.jerryspringertheopera.com

For production photos - http://www.nationaltheatre.org.uk/?lid=3114&tmpl=whatsonpics

The original CD can be purchased from Amazon.com or DressCircle.co.uk

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