BWW Reviews: Grain of Sand's YOU CAN'T GET A DECENT MARGARITA AT THE NORTH POLE is Good Old-Fashioned Kitschy Christmas Fun

Do you enjoy wearing ugly Christmas sweaters? Do you enjoy watching vintage claymation Christmas specials? Do you enjoy putting up vintage white Christmas trees with multicolored plastic garland? If you answered yes to any of those questions then you're in luck!

Grain of Sand's You Can't Get a Decent Margarita at the North Pole is the perfect present for anyone looking for good old-fashioned kitschy Christmas fun this holiday season.

Mark Hanf's play with music takes familiar Christmas characters we thought we knew and gives them a peppermint schnapps twist. Unionizing reindeer, Santa licensing fees, a gun totting Mrs. Claus and a lustful elf are all part of this Christmas story.

Santa Claus (Carl Brandt Long) is a busy executive preparing for his annual globetrotting Christmas journey. His long hours away from home leave his wife Marjorie (Heather Whitpan) feeling neglected, leading her to take up skeet shooting with the Tooth Fairy (Kyle McGruther), much to Santa's dismay. Complicating matters is a dry-witted Rudolph (John Stange) and Rita (Amal Saade), a Santa-obsessed elf with relationship issues.

The play doesn't take itself seriously, nor should it. Hanf's snappy dialogue, filled with some political barbs and topical jokes, make this romp all the more amusing.

From the moment you walk into DuPont Circle's Bier Baron Tavern, the venue for this year's production, Kristina Nelson's enjoyably tacky set design along with the Christmas trinkets scattered amongst the tables establishes that this is going to be a fun night out. Green and snow white plastic streamers fill the back stage walls while large painted presents and gift wrapped tables complete the minimal set design. Sara Bickler's creative direction extends the show beyond the stage and into the bar, bringing the audience along for this wild journey.

Stange makes the most of the one-liners with an anthropomorphic Rudolph that is the polar opposite of the lovable claymation character from the 1964 television special. His Rudolph is part wino, part incompetent union leader and part self-centered friend. Making the whole character extremely humorous is the Shakespearean-like delivery Strange gives Rudolph all while wearing a brown onesie.

Long and Whitpan make a cute Mr. and Mrs. Claus. Their love for each other is genuine and the problems they face aren't unlike those of other couples. As Santa, Long shows us a man passionate about his wife and his job. Whitpan gives us a Mrs. Claus torn between sharing her husband with the world and wanting him for herself. When their marriage reaches a breaking point Long gives a particular heartfelt rendition of the Elvis classic "Blue Christmas."

Rounding out the cast is Saade and McGruther. Saade gives Rita's unhealthy obsession with Santa a comical twist while McGruther's unconventional tooth fairy will forever change your image of the mythical fairy figure.

Charlie Taphanel strums his guitar and performs a litany of Christmas classics during the play's transitions. It's a nice touch and audiences can expect to hear such classics as "Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer," "12 Days of Christmas" and the waltz from The Godfather. You'll have to see the show to figure out the last one.

You Can't Get a Decent Margarita at the North Pole may not have the dramatic pull of A Christmas Carol or the fantasy of The Nutcracker. However, what it does provide is an evening of laughs performed by a cast that is having fun with this sharp material. So take a break from the endless rounds of holiday parties and get reacquainted with some figures you thought you knew. You may not be able to get a decent margarita at the North Pole, but you will have a good time at this play!

Photo: Amal Saade. Credit: Carl Brandt Long.

You Can't Get a Decent Margarita at the North Pole is at the Bier Baron Tavern, 1523 22nd Street Northwest, Washington, DC 20037. The play has two performances left: December 20th at 7 p.m. and December 21st at 8 p.m. For tickets please click here.

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