Front Row Centre reviews LEGENDS

   

In anticipation of seeing LEGENDS, I have been re-reading James Kirkwood's DIARY OF A MAD PLAYWRIGHT.  He published this collection of excerpts from his diary to chronicle the whirlwind of writing, casting, producing and touring the original production of LEGENDS. The show toured in 1986 but never reached Broadway when stars Mary Martin and Carol Channing refused to extend their contracts.   

  

Kirkwood's book is filled with a colourful cast of characters, some nasty backstage gaucherie, and some insight into a play that was never quite as clever or funny as everyone involved had expected. 

  

Now, the play is back.  New producers, new designers, a new director, a new choreographer and two dynamite stars. But, it is the same old play. The premise is like something out of Noel Coward: a crafty producer courts two aging and somewhat forgotten screen goddesses to star together in a new play. The catch is that the two have always hated each other. 

  

Kirkwood, however, is not Noel Coward.  While he does give the leads a couple of sharp ripostes, the distance between laughs is lengthy at times. There is tension; of course, because everyone expects to see the stars – the former cat-fighting divas of DYNASTY – really get into it. The problem is when they do, most of the battle happens offstage, cheating the audience of what many of them paid to see. 

  

As the bitchy star, Joan Collins commands the stage at every turn while Linda Evans playing the queen of nice manages to reveal a previously untapped gift for light comedy. 

  

They are both let down by a script that all too often takes the easy way out. A plate of hashish brownies, an unexpected appearance of a stripper, and an encounter with a cop all factor into the proceedings but ultimately the show is about the battle between the sexy co-stars and there just aren't enough fireworks here. 

  

In fact many of the funniest lines come from Aretha, the maid, played with stylish wit by Tonye Patano. 

  

As the stripper, Will Homan scores the longest and funniest sequence in the show but it's a role that is largely wasted. (Noel Coward would have known how to tie this character into the farce.) 

  

Similarly, Ethan Matthews is largely wasted as a cop in a totally extraneous scene. 

  

As the producer who is trying to bring the feuding stars together, Joe Farrell has a couple of amusing telephone scenes but both could be sharper and funnier.  

  

The idea is good, and the cast is certainly game but Kirkwood's script is too thin to sustain them. Maybe someone should adapt DIARY OF A MAD PLAYWRIGHT for the stage instead. 

  

  

SHOW: LEGENDS 

Written by: James Kirkwood 

Directed by: John Bowab 

Theatre: Royal Alex 

Dates: Sep 12 -  Oct 22
Performances:  Tue to Sat @ 8pm, Wed, Sat, Sun @ 2 PM
Tickets:  available at www.mirvish.com or phone at 416.972.1212

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