Review: THEATREONE DEBUTS A NAUGHTY AND NICE CHRISTMAS TREAT at Catherine Hickman Theatre

Twas few days before Christmas
To Catherine Hickman we went
For 12 short holiday plays
Full of humor and vent

The patrons were waiting
Comfy, don't you know
For the curtain to open
For this inaugural show

Debut by TheatreOne
This was naughty and nice
A show full of heart
And some plays full of spice

Silence of the Claus
Is tongue-in-cheek
Of that famous 90s movie
And Santa's a freak

Susan Dearden rocks
As the naive FBI
Whose suit is too big
Who wants to know why

The non-elves made me laugh
Their lines on the money
Joe Starzyk as the playwright
Wrote something quite funny

And next we went to
A breaking up call
A bad reception by Stephen Bell
That changes it all

What really was said
Couldn't be heard on the line
Secrets are revealed
In only a matter of time

Then we venture off
To a vintage radio show
With a secretary like Carol Burnett
Brick Brickel in the know

With Samantha Parisi
Wanting to be an actress "dramatical"
And the cast and director
Just wanting a sabbatical

Money is owed
And threats soon ensue
But a lovely snow storm
Help them make it through

Next on the list
Is Parisi's holiday treasure
A parent's Night Before Christmas
Gave my tickle-bone pleasure

Anyone with kids
And lame instructions to read
Understand the frustrations
about building presents, indeed

Next an LGBT candid fear
Of what might come to be
Acceptance or rejection
When coming out to family

We move to a show
About scary speed dating
A poor innocent sap
Whose dates are nerve-grating

2.5 on the timer
The women are appalling
The poor guy is drenched
When true love comes a' calling

The Elf Help Center
Opens Act Two
Santa needs some new help
And these candidates blew

Tiny Norman is terrifying
this shelf-sitting voyeur
Elian and Yohan are ok
But Santa wants amour

This one is naughty
With Jezel, Santa's new girl
She'll do whatever he wants
Yes, she'll give it a candy cane whirl

In Christmas Magic
The suit is too tight
But a few magic words
Makes the suit fit just right

The ninth on the list
Was about something misheard
Could their parents be doing THAT
It sounds quite absurd

The next about assuming
And being surprised
By a cool pink-haired mom
And Rocky's Harley to ride

Santa's Baby is dripping
With innuendo galore
Is St. Nick a baby-daddy
Uh oh, what's in store

And finally Let's Make a Christmas
Ends this holiday night
About a Dad and his game show
Winning presents not right

A daughter says dad
I can't take this any more
But you'll have to come to Gulport
To catch what was in store

All in all, it was funny
And risqué and so sweet
A holiday present
That just can't be beat

So come out through
The weekend, the end of December
And make your year end
With this show to remember

Congratulations to TheatreOne founder Stephen Bell, as well as Joe Starzyk, David Middleton, Samantha Parisi, David H. Smith, Peter A. Balaskas, Michael P. Cote, Judy Landis, Jim Moss, Brick Brickel, Rudy Gonzalez, Olga Kruse, Susan Dearden, Sam DePriest, Andrea Dudley and Jill Finlayson, cast and crew of The Twelve Plays of Christmas. This was an enjoyable not-for-the-kiddies theatre debut that I'm happy you are making into a holiday tradition.

The Twelve Plays of Christmas is at Catherine Hickman Theatre, 5501 27th Avenue South Gulfport on Friday, December 29th at 8PM, Saturday, December 30th at 8PM, and Sunday, December 31st at 2PM. Tickets are $22 in advance, $25 (cash or check) at the door. For more information, call 727-835-8900 -or email TheatreOneTix@gmail.com.

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