Review: EDINBURGH 2024: RIKI LINDHOME: DEAD INSIDE, Pleasance Courtyard

“All of my friends are having babies and I’m not and I don’t know why”

Riki Lindhome: Dead Inside has Lindhome taking audiences on her infertility journey, a term she hates but still uses. This is not her first time discussing her infertility - she did a television episode about it, which she shows the audience a clip of, giving us a sneak peek at what we’ll be hearing about for the next hour. 

We begin by learning about how Lindhome has been trying to get pregnant in a range of ways, including IVF, which leads to the fantastic line, “I never thought I’d be shooting up in an airport parking lot for wholesome reasons!” While most of the show is Lindhome speaking to the audience in what, at times, feels like a TED Talk, there are also songs that she has written about her journey, ranging from picking a sperm donor to trying to go through the process of adopting a child. The songs in the show have Lindnhome accompanying herself on either the guitar or keyboard, along with some backing tracks to enhance the performance. 

One concept that Lindhome frequently refers back to is that of “The Hero’s Journey,” a template for stories about a character going on an adventure and gaining something from it. However, after giving a few examples from movies like Cinderella, Lindhome acknowledges that this is not the typical human journey, especially for women. She then comes up with the concept of “The Impossible Forest,” or the female version of “ The Hero’s Journey,” and is inspired to create her own animated movie on the subject.

In one fantastic yet thought-provoking song entitled “Don’t Google Mommy,” Lindhome sings a lullaby to her child telling her to not watch anything that she has done on YouTube or television, including the songs she has written and sung as a part of duo Garfunkel and Oates, with songs including lyrics like “F*ck me in the ass ‘cause I love Jesus.” It is interesting to think about how people’s digital footprint will be seen by their children, something that Lindhome has been forced to become aware of in her journey towards adopting a child.

As one might expect from a show about infertility, there are some dark moments, especially those focusing on when she has to get an abortion as her child’s heart had grown in the wrong place. Throughout her infertility journey, Lindhome loses so much, and her heartbreak is clear in many of the songs, including one dedicated to her unborn child that has her voice cracking on lyrics like, “When I go home one day / I hope I find you.” However, Lindhome is telling these stories because she wants to fight against the stigma around pregnancy loss, helping others by telling us about her experience. 

Ultimately, Riki Lindhome: Dead Inside is a heartbreaking yet hilarious musical comedy show that allows Lindhome to tell her story while showing off her talents, made even better by the fact that this particular chapter of the story has a happy ending, if bittersweet. The show’s description ask, “Can fertility be funny?” In Lindhome’s case, it certainly can be. 

Riki Lindhome: Dead Inside ran until 25 August at Pleasance Courtyard - Beneath.

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