Jude Matthew Servilla: Breaking the Conventions of a Leading Man

"Umaasa ako na uuwi ang mga manunuod baon ang pananaw na ang pag-ibig ay para sa lahat. Na ang bawat isa--no matter the shape, the gender, pasok man o hindi sa pamantayan ng kagandahan o kakisigan ng society, ay deserving makaranas at magparanas ng pag-ibig." - Jude Matthew Servilla

Manila, Philippines-- Though Jude Matthew Servilla is no stranger to stage productions, his portrayal of Dodong, the love interest of hair and makeup artist Ada, in Ateneo Blue Repertory's revival of Carlo Vergara's "Zsazsa Zarurnnah: The Musical... 'Yun Lang" was something he didn't expect.

In the beginning, all he wanted to do was to be cast in the ensemble.

Playing Dodong is not his first lead or leading man role. He played someone's love interest once or twice in his previous projects.

"But this is different, kasi this is Dodong. For me, his character was designed to really be someone's desire. So 'yung pressure na kaakibat noon is on another level.

"But yeah, while learning about the character, I was also able to learn that I don't have to fit the societal beauty standard to be 'desirable.' It is why super important sa akin personally ang pagganap ko dito bilang Dodong kasi this changes my perspective of myself, and I hope I get to represent as well the other 'me' out there who doesn't feel 'pogi.' That they, too, can play this desirable character, such as him."

Dodong, A Surprise Treat

Apart from the pandemic, other factors (which he didn't divulge) compelled him to take a hiatus from acting on stage.

"May mga dumating pong mga sitwasyon sa buhay ko na nag-lead sa akin to pause muna sa pagti-theater at mag-pursue muna ng day job."

He works as an adviser-cum-technical support for a BPO company.

When he saw the open auditions notice for blueREP's of "Zsazsa Zaturnnah," I took it as a sign para siguro bumalik na sa tahanan ko: ang stage. I auditioned to be an ensemble player, kasi sabi ko, mukhang wala namang role na pasok ako. I never saw myself as Dodong, like ever [he laughed].

"Noong binasa ko ang komiks noong high school ako, para sa akin Dodong was this conventionally attractive guy---a head-turner kumbaga. I never saw myself as that. So, noong audition, wala akong intensyon to 'nab' the role. Gusto ko lang maging ensemble at makabalik ng theater.

"But for some reason, Ms. Missy Maramara, the show's director, tapped me and asked me if I could also learn the audition song of Dodong. Sabi ko sa isip-isip ko: 'Anak ng tipaklong, mukhang tagilid ako.' Pero andun na ako eh, sulitin ko na. So I learned 'Walang Ibang Pangarap,' sabi ko bahala na, iwi-wing ko na lang. Inimbento ko na lang po yata ang ibang tono noon.

"I was really, really terrified kasi Sir Vincent De Jesus was there, the composer lang naman po ng song na iwi-wing ko (he again laughed). Two days later, I got an email saying I got the part. Gulat na gulat ako--like paano?"

He also added his journey into the role, "I honestly did not know how to approach the role mentally and physically. Like I said, hindi ko nakita in my life that I could be Dodong, that I can be a leading man material.

"The roles I played in the past, laging nagfa-fall 'yun sa iba't-ibang mold, iba't ibang persona, but never sa leading man. So naturally, hindi ko alam paano ito gagampanan. I remember kung paano ako putaktehin ng mga self-doubts ko noon--paano 'to wala akong abs?"

Breathing Life Into His Role

Despite seeing himself as "not-the-leading man-material," Servilla had his share of doing lead roles in the past.

He started doing theater when he was about 16 or 17 years old.

"Totoy na totoy pa po ako noon. Siguro, ang hindi ko makakalimutang role na ginampanan ko was my first lead role in a musical. It was 2015 when I played Totong Tipaklong in 'Totong Tipaklong, The Musical' under Gantimpala Theater Foundation, directed by Jeff Camañag.

"We rehearsed the whole show in the span of six days only. I remember, super excited po ako noon kasi unang lead role ko, pero at the same time, I was terrified kasi super limited ang binigay sa aming araw para ma-rehearse po ang show. Pero I think we pulled it off naman sa huli. Naitawid namin ang show, at mukhang napasaya naman namin ang mga batang nanood noon."

Fast-forward to being picked as Dodong, he shares how he envisioned his role.

"During one of our workshops, especially in a scene study, Ms. Missy asked us about our fears sa pagganap ng kanya-kanya naming bahagi sa prod na ito. I was certain of my answer. Sabi ko: 'I don't feel like I'm Dodong physically, I'm afraid I'll disappoint the followers of 'Zsazsa Zaturnnah' for not looking like Dodong.'

"So naging vulnerable ako kay Ms. Missy. Nagtanong ako why I got cast, kasi in my mind, iniisip ko baka wala lang silang choice or baka naawa lang sila sa akin. Ms. Missy then looked me straight in the eyes and told me: 'I chose you. I cast you for being you.' Something to that effect.

"I was also made to realize that Dodong is not just this caricature handsome character. Hindi lang siya poging palamuti sa kwento ni Ada at ni Zsazsa. He's the answer to the question, 'What if masculinity is not toxic?' Pinakita niya sa kwento na hindi ikababawas ng pagkalalaki mo kapag kinumprunta mo ang nararamdaman mo.

"Dodong is not just a handsome face, he is also the manifestation of a man's best self and beyond doon sa kwento.

"So, doon ko po pinainog ang pagbuo ko sa Dodong ko. I realized I don't have to fit the box of conventional beauty--to be pogi, to be desirable, to be like him. 'Yun ang naging pundasyon ko of how I built the character. So yeah, I guess my Dodong challenges the stereotype o 'yung mold of what's 'conventionally desirable.'"

Respect to Previous Dodongs, Co-Stars

"I have so much respect for Sir Alfred Vargas, Sir Arnold Reyes at sa iba pang naunang nag-siganap bilang Dodong. To play a role na dumaan na sa kanila is such an honor po. Pero minabuti ko na hindi sila mapanood so I can construct my Dodong, especially based on how 'Zsazsa Zaturnnah the Musical... 'Yun Lang' perceives the version of Dodong we want to show to the present-day audience.

He continues sharing his working dynamics with his co-stars.

"Kim Molina (Zsazsa) is such a sweetheart. What you see is what you get. Kung ano siya sa telebisyon, ganun din siya in person. But me, as a natural fanboy, hindi ko mapigilang mahiya sa kanya.

"During rehearsal, hanggang noong opening namin, ina-address ko siya as either Ate Kim or Miss Kim. Kalaunan siya na mismo ang yumugyog sa akin na 'wag ko na siya i-Ate or tawaging Miss. Kaya to get used to it, and to get over 'yung pagka-starstruck ko sa kanya, lagi ko siya tinatawag na 'Kim' every time I get the opportunity, 'Kim ganyan, Kim ganito--Kim, Kim, Kim Kim.' Kahit na 'yung buong pagkatao ko ay gusto siya i-address with high regard.

"As for the Adas. I was fortunate enough to get the chance to experience acting with all three of them (Shaun Ocrisma, Adrian Lindayag, and Phi Palmos). Si Shaun, simula audition pa lang, siya na ang ka-pair ko. He is such a genuine actor, ang lalim ng pinanggagalingan niya lagi. Dahil siguro mas marami kaming naging time together, we kind of develop this natural chemistry as scene partners. Super comfortable ako kapag si Shaun ang Ada ko kasi kabisadong-kabisado namin ang isa't-isa.

"With Adrian, my chemistry with him is also different, dahil na rin siguro iba-iba sila na Ada. With him, it's more light but also intense at the same time.

"Kay Phi naman--ito funny story--wala dapat kaming show together kasi ang Dodong niya talaga ay si Pareng Juan Carlos (Galano). Pero sa kung anong himala, nagkaroon kami ng isang show. I was so happy kasi fan ako ni Phi at out of all the cast members, siya yata ang pinaka invested sa kwento ni Zsazsa Zaturnnah. Like alam niya ang bawat hilatsa (fiber) of the komiks and the previous musical. He was also instrumental sa pagbuo ko personally sa Dodong ko. So, to share the stage with him as Ada to my Dodong was really special."

He considers himself fortunate enough to work with Roeder Camañag, his professors at UP Diliman, like Banaue Miclat, and Missy Maramara, who greatly impacted him as an actor.

"Ewan ko ba, pero parang may kapangyarihan po yata itong si Ms. Missy na i-nurture ang mga bagay na hindi mo pala alam na meron ka. Ilalaban niya kasi sa 'yo na paniwalaan mo ang sarili mo hanggang sa paniwalaan mo talaga ang sarili mo eh.

"She is fierce as a mother. When I saw myself as an ensemble, she saw me as Dodong. When I saw myself as undesirable, she saw me as a leading man."

Today, he still has his full-time job. He works on a graveyard shift, which allows him to do his passion.

"Medyo kulang sa tulog, pero at least masaya ang puso ko."

"Zsazsa Zaturnnah: The Musical...'Yun Lang" plays to a sold-out house at the Doreen Fernandez Black Box Theater, Areté, Ateneo de Manila University, until Apr. 2, 2023.

Photo: Rain Lazaro | BWW Video: Oliver Oliveros

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