The Gay Barber's Apartment

A theatergoer must hold different expectations for Broadway, off-Broadway and off-off Broadway shows. Naturally, a small show in a hole-in-the-wall theater will not have the budget of a Broadway spectacle, and no one should expect all the qualities of a big production. But small doesn't necessarily mean bad, and it can be truly wonderful to see new stars rise in innovative new shows by up-and-coming new writers in out-of-the-way venues.

But for every firework that explodes brilliantly into a shower of sparks, there's a dud. And that's the tragedy of The Gay Barber's Apartment, a new play by Larry Traiger that is kicking off the new company of which he is president, Half Assiduity Arts. The nascent company, founded by the sons of two very famous actors, wants to establish itself as edgy and innovative, and bravo to them for that. Their mission statement declares them to be a conglomerate of artists who "draw… write… sculpt… [and] make plays." They also aim to "provide the audience with a surreal experience."

Surreality isn't necessarily a good thing, and neither is it necessarily even interesting. The first play Half Assiduity Arts has made feels like a mish-mash of Cameron Crowe's Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Eric Bogosian's SubUrbia, and Larry Clark's Kids. The story, such as it is, follows a handful of recently-graduated prep-school students who drink, smoke, smoke up, snort coke and have sex while they wait for that seminal event in every teenager's life: the prom. While they prepare for the next phase of their lives, the specter (or hallucination? Or spiritual vision? Who knows) of their former dean haunts them and threatens them with Saturday detentions. 'Cause what else do deans do during the summer?

Okay, so it isn't exactly original, but neither were any of Shakespeare's plays. Even if it follows a formula, a well-written play can breathe new life into a cliché. Unfortunately, instead of expanding on the themes inherent to the Angsty Teen Drama trope, The Gay Barber's Apartment just rehashes the stereotypes we've all seen before. There's the Awkward Kid, the Angry Kid, the Slutty Kid, the Emotional Kid, the Violent Kid, and the Self-Cutting Kid. Oh, and there's the Gay Barber, in whose apartment all of these kids gather to do drugs and have sex. Can't forget him, even though the play does before Act Two.

Mr. Traiger, who does not list any other playwriting credits in his one-sentence bio, doesn't seem to have much to say in his script, but he takes two-and-a-half hours to say it. None of his caricatures characters grow or change during the play. Instead, they simply ramble at length, mostly sharing pseudo-philosophical thoughts like "Life's a game… if you want it to be," and "You know what, Jonas? Life isn't a movie. That's why we have movies, 'cause life is too awful." They also talk about vaginas. A lot. And not in a very positive way. Combine that with the constant presentation of females as interchangeable sexual playthings, and the misogyny of this play can make one long for the feminist empowerment of David Mamet or Neil LaBute.

The young cast doesn't seem to have rehearsed very much, and the actors frequently stumble over each other's lines and mumble and shuffle nervously about the stage. To be fair, it is somewhat difficult to fairly assess their performances when they are stuck with such weak characters to portray and lines to deliver. Alex Hurt, who also directs, has the most charisma and energy of the lot, but still doesn't seem to have any real direction or basis for his character. Chuck Pukanecz's set is unnecessarily large and unwieldy, taking many long minutes during each blackout to take apart and reassemble for each scene. Ironically, several of the scenes are shorter than the blackouts that precede and follow them.

There are true theatrical stars to be found in the off-off-Broadway firmament, and some of the most thrilling drama can be found in the most unlikely of places throughout the five boroughs. Shows like The Gay Barber's Apartment, however, give off-off-Broadway a bad name, and may just turn audiences away from otherwise deserving shows in similar venues. May Half Assiduity Arts have better luck with their next production.

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