A Very Merry Unauthorized Children's Scientology Pageant

I've never been one to make fun of someone else's church, even the controversial Church of Scientology, although do find it irritating when their members jam up traffic in the Times Square subway station when I'm trying to catch my train, asking everyone to take their free stress test.  (Of course I'm stressed – you're making me miss my connection!)  But the brilliance of Les Freres Corbusier's A Very Merry Unauthorized Children's Scientology Pageant is that you'd be hard pressed to find any moment of the 55 minute production where Kyle Jarrow (playwright, composer and lyricist) and Alex Timbers (conceiver, director and choreographer) directly criticize or mock the followers of L. Ron Hubbard ("teacher, author, explorer, atomic physicist, nautical engineer, choreographer, and horticulturalist").  This is a case where the difference between satire and sincerity is a bit like the difference between art and pornography.  You may not be able to describe it, but you know it when you see it.

Hilarious, adorable and downright creepy, the show is simply and lovingly modeled after the type of amateur holiday pageant you might see kids performing in a church auditorium or community center this time of the year.  A talented cast of eight-to-twelve-year-olds (Dahlia Chacon, Hudson Cianni, Lauren Kelly, Jolie Libert, Steven Lobman, Elizabeth Lynn, Sean Moran, Kat Peters, Alex Swift and William Wiggins) sing and dance and reenact the story of L. Ron Hubbard's creation of the Church of Scientology, playing such diverse roles as John Travolta, an intergalactic ruler named Xenu and a singing brain.

Jarrow's text, which explains Hubbard's ideology of Dianetics, where practitioners learn to disregard emotions and see the world only through analytical thinking, is almost entirely based on Hubbard's own writings and the church's literature.  (That includes the part about the souls of space aliens that inhabit all our brains.)  When objections are voiced, such as the exorbitant cost of mandatory classes and the accusation that Scientology preys on the poor and emotionally vulnerable, they are neatly struck down with the faith-based common sense and celebrity endorsements.  His songs are hypnotically catchy, repetitive and upbeat.  ("Now the sun will shine / And the world is fine / We have got the science of the mind.")

The cast members are all loaded with professional credits, but Timbers makes sure there's a realistic lack of polish in their performances, since in actuality they are playing the non-professional children of Scientologists who are performing in the pageant.  Likewise, his staging, along with Jennifer Rogien's costumes, David Evans Morris' set and Juliet Chia's lights all seem the earnest work of schoolteachers and supportive parents trying to provide a colorful and cheery atmosphere on a small budget.

This is the 3^rd holiday season that A Very Merry Unauthorized Children's Scientology Pageant has hit New York and hopefully we'll be seeing returning it for many years to come.  It's the hippest holiday show in town.

Photo by Joan Marcus:  William Wiggins, Steven Lobman, Elizabeth Lynn, Dahlia Chacon, Kat Peters, and Lauren Kelly