Review - Candy Tastes Nice

The woman who went by the pseudonym Natalie Dylan, a self-described feminist with a B.A. in women's studies, hasn't been the only one to attempt to put her virginity up for auction, but being attractive, American and willing to appear on national television to explain how she wished to use the money to pay for her further education most likely helped her become the best-known in this country.

In these days where government legislation of morality and a woman's right to control her own body stirs up controversy, Dylan's story is still extraordinarily relevant. Playwright/performer Miranda Huba took from it her inspiration to create Candy Tastes Nice, a fictional solo piece about a woman wishing to pay off her student loans by holding such an auction.

Directed by Shannon Sindelar, the play was previously performed in New York in a traditional theatre setting, but this new production is placed in the upstairs lounge of the bordello-themed bar, Madame X, with customers welcome to bring their drinks into the playing space (no minimum) where they sit on cozy couches and can sample from small bowls full of sugary treats. There are elevated areas on both ends of the room but for the most part Huba struts across the floor up close to her listeners as she tells her tale, which turns out to be an awkward mix of sexual politics overwhelmed by outlandish fantasy.

Huba's writing style frequently echoes the crass titillation of a letter to Penthouse ("The series of boyfriends that I had selfishly blue balled had never done anything other than some heavy petting.") performed with an off-putting sense of arrogance. The play works best when she's seriously critical of the media's insistence of shaping her story to suit its needs, regardless of the truth, such as in a scene inspired by Dylan's appearance on the Tyra Banks show. Huba has her unnamed narrator repeatedly asked by a model/talk show host why she's doing it and she repeatedly answers that she wants to pay off her student loans. It isn't until she changes her answer to express a yearning for celebrity love and attention that the model/host is satisfied that she's come to the heart of the matter.

Huba does touch on significant topics such as the theory that women have been auctioning off their virginity to the highest bidder since the beginning of time and the moral culture that automatically sees prostitutes as a victims (She doesn't go into the high cost of education, though.) but only lightly. Instead of exploring issues thoroughly, she ventures off into fuzzy symbolism with a scene involving a young boy and her internal organs and cartoonish satire which has world leaders bidding on her as part of complicated deals involving oil, hostages and nuclear weapons. Despite her effort to make a statement, the subject of auctioning off one's virginity and the issues surrounding it are so unusual that what comes out of the playwright's inventiveness never seems like it would be as interesting as a realistic approach.

Also, the title is confusing. There's a character in the narrative named Candy, which can lead one to wrongly believe the title might be referring to her. And frankly, the words Candy Tastes Nice suggests a sex act that has nothing to do with the play.

Photo of Miranda Huba by Michael Weintrob.

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The North Pool is certainly the most conventional piece to hit New York from imaginative playwright Rajiv Joseph. There are no philosophical tigers, no imaginary Holden Caulfield's giving advice and no relationships built on mutual physical injuries. But the traditional two-hander is a neatly crafted, tense and juicy theatrical ride.

Set in 90 minutes of real time, the play takes place in 2007 (April 13th, to be exact), in the office of high school vice-principal, Dr. Danielson (Stephen Barker Turner). It's the last few minutes before spring break begins but first the VP needs to meet with 18-year-old Syrian transfer student Khadim Asmaan (Babak Tafti) over what seems to be a trivial offense. Danielson asks a lot of questions he already knows the answer to and when Asmaan is caught lying he's assigned to serve detention.

The student accepts the administrator's offer to make it a quick detention right then and there, most likely making them the only two people left in the building. But while Asmaan would rather serve his time quietly, Danielson has more questions for him regarding his family, his participation in school activities and items found in his locker which may or may not be related to threats made against the school.

The anxious student counters by bringing up some well-known rumors about the vice-principal. To go further would reveal too much but it all leads up to each one's relationship with another student.

The upper hand keeps bouncing back and forth and under director Giovanna Sardelli neither character can claim the audience's sympathy for very long. Turner's Danielson is a pompous authority figure grounded in traditional (white) American values, unconvincingly trying to let the teenager know that he's his friend. Tafti's Asmaan first appears as a polite and timid fish out of water until his arrogance and ruthlessness surface.

There are a couple of points that defy logic a bit, and a slight hint of a sadistic act involving the title location that never develops, but despite those stumbles, The North Pool proves a well-acted and entertaining cat and mouse game.

Photo of Stephen Barker Turner and Babak Tafti by Carol Rosegg.

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