Review: SISTER'S CHRISTMAS CATECHISM at Starlight Theatre

Starlight Theatre continues its indoor season with the return of "Sister" for a new Catechism lesson based about half on the Holy Nativity and half on CSI - The Holy Land. "Sister" (played to the hilt by Mary Zentmyer) arrives back at Starlight after a successful run last year with her "Late Night Catechism Class."

The good Sister appears on a stage that resembles the Catholic School classroom and conjures up (perhaps not an appropriate reference) all those horrible and funny stories about the strict and straight-laced teachers in habits. They were tough, but offered a very good Catholic School education. Sister demands precision from her self-deprecating character and the same of her nostalgic class/audience .

Woe be it to the student who has arrived late for class. Sister will embarrass each one in front of the whole class, demand an apology, and assess a fine. Fines are donated to the Pagan Children's fund. Sister claims this is a real thing. Every time the fund exceeds $5.00, a pagan child is adopted in a poor country and the $5.00 becomes the total cost of raising that child to adulthood.

Other venial sins (the not very bad ones) include wearing a hat in class, showing too much bosom, and improper terms of address to Sister. Sister gleefully proctors the class for prospective offenders. They are warned that further offense will result in a notation on that student's (horrors) permanent record.

Students sitting too close to each other or holding hands in class are reminded that there should always be room for the Holy Ghost between couples. School days seem to re-materialize as Sister shares gag after gag and cloudy memories are embellished from parochial school days.

Class participation is essential for the jokes to work. Perceived bad behavior becomes fodder for the good-natured ridicule. Think a softer version of Don Rickles in a habit.

Act II is the meat of the Christmas Catechism. Classroom students are selected to play Mary, Joseph, a donkey, an ox, a sheep, a shepherd, and three Magi Kings. As these unfortunates are dressed in imaginative, but silly costume, Sister has turned detective a la CSI. Each of the Magi Kings has contributed a gift to the baby Jesus. Sister can locate where two of the three gifts have gone, but the golden gift is missing. I won't tell you where the gold is stashed... you need to see the show to find out.

Sister always looks for willing volunteers from the audience. The difficulty in locating victims/volunteers made Act II run a little longer than it should. With the hip audience numbering in the several hundreds, many have learned to hide from Sister and always answer precisely. Sister should work to speed up the process. It is still a funny bit.

Sister's Christmas Catechism continues at Starlight all the way through December 18. The Cohen Stage is an impressive space even with the hanger door down. Tickets are available at the box office, by telephone at (816) 363-7827 or on their website at www.kcstarlight.com.

Photo courtesy of Starlight Theatre, Kansas City.

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