Review: REALISH HOUSEWIVES OF CHERRY CREEK at The Garner Galleria

There's a place in pop culture for ritzy housewives. Unfortunately, I'm not too sure that place is in Cherry Creek just yet.

These women are fans of sensible activities like wheatgrass enemas. They make suggestions for medicinal crystal meth. There's a fro-yo intervention at hot yoga for the airheaded housewife who works as a neck model.

The show is basically a talk show, where the housewives are reuniting after their first season and watching the memories unfurl. It's hosted by Randy Bowen (Jackson Evans), a sharp yet effervescent fella whose No. 1 fandom also controls their empire.

The housewives include Ravonka (Lori McClain), the wife of a baron whose purse-puppy is named after wine; Brooke (Lindsey Pearlman), who own her own business empire based on butt-writing (you know those sweats that say things on the back?); C.L. (Katy Carolina Collins), whose perfect marriage is also perfectly crumbling; Gwen (Katie Caussin), a politician, basically; Desiree (Emjoy Gavino), that neck-model I mentioned.

Bonus feature to "George Smith," the inebriated audience member who played hubby to C.L. but decided to take control of the show. (High five, dude.)

It would have been hilarious if the script actually provided witty references to Cherry Creek, or even our city. Instead, the cookie-cutter writing filled in blanks Mad-Libs style with a lot of weed references, nods to places like Commerce City and Red Rocks Amphitheater (where the housewives naturally attended rehab?) and a couple places I'd never heard of.

It's like there are actual blank spaces in the script asking for suggestions like [the bad part of town] and [local politician]. But seriously...an entire plot set in Cherry Creek and not one mention of landmarks like Cherry Cricket or...really any place in the neighborhood that residents visit?

Locals would best do a show with this kind of context, not a production that parades a plot around hoping it'll fit into a city's fancy neighborhood. Perhaps they'll have an understanding of why the neighborhood is reviled for its richest. Name-dropping landmarks in a random situation just isn't that funny to me.

True, some jokes were memorable. A couple of the housewives had fun personalities and brought the kind of energy I desired. My favorite was Brooke, appropriately clad in a sleek red power suit, her sharpness and look reminded me of Krysten Ritter. I also thought the ditzy neck-model Desiree was always on point. But mainly, I just kept staring blankly at the stage hoping to care about these women.

Considering the subject matter...maybe that's what was supposed to happen? Though The Realish Housewives strives to be relevant, what it actually amounts to is real ________.

The Realish Housewives of Cherry Creek plays through May 22 at the Garner Galleria at the Denver Center for the Performing Arts. For tickets, visit DenverCenter.org or call (303)893-4100.

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