Actress hopes musical starts conversations about depression
In the end, actress Rachel Hertenstein just couldn’t say no to Diana Goodman.
After performing in THE WILD PARTY and HAIR last year in Columbus, Hertenstein thought she needed a siesta from acting.
Then the Columbus Children’s Theater announced it was putting together a cast for NEXT TO NORMAL and Hertenstein found herself auditioning for the role of Goodman.
“I love this show so, so much,” Hertenstein said. “I thought I was going to take a break from theater for a bit, but I was like, ‘No, I must go out for this.’ I’m grateful to be in a show I love so much.”
CCT presents NEXT TO NORMAL at two separate locations this fall, performing it Oct. 25-Nov. 10 at the Riffe Center’s Studio 1 (77 S. High Street in downtown Columbus) and having a four-show, three-day run Nov. 14-16 at the Weathervane Playhouse (100 Price Street in Newark, Ohio).
Hertenstein portrays Diana, a mother and wife who is struggling to keep up appearances of having a “normal family,” as she navigates a labyrinth of loss and depression. The musical, which won three Tony Awards in 2009, also stars Christian Cooper (Dan), Tanner Wink (Gabe), Jamie Mayfield (Natalie), Sara LiBrandi (Henry) and Jordan Young (Dr. Fine/Dr. Madden).
The run of shows marks the second time Hertenstein has played Diana.
“This is the first time in my life I’ve ever done a role a second time,” said the actress, who first was Diana in a Worthington Community Theater production of the Tom Kitt and Brian Yorkey musical. “NEXT TO NORMAL means a lot to me. It was the first show I saw on Broadway. My parents took me to it right after it came out as a (high school) graduation gift.
“It’s something that’s very grounded, but, at the same time, it’s a little bit taboo. I like shows that open conversations and this one certainly does that.”
When she first appeared in NEXT TO NORMAL, Hertenstein was fighting her own battle with depression at the same time she was playing someone who is also wriggling under pressure.
“When I first did this, I was going through a whole lot,” she said. “I just moved to Columbus from New York City and things were really, really hard. I was struggling with ‘What am I doing next? Where am I going? What's happening?’”
The pitfalls of Hertenstein’s bout with depression go back to when she attended Ball State University. She loved theatre but she was told to pursue a degree in “something more practical” such as majoring in music or English.
“When I was in high school, everyone told me ‘theater’s not a really good path,’” she said. “When I got to Ball State, I kept thinking ‘This isn't for me. I don't know what I'm doing.’
“I became really depressed. Somewhere deep in my soul, something said we're not happy. Finally, I said, ‘Forget you, guys. I'm going to do my own thing.’”
Hertenstein left Ball State and enrolled in the Academy of Music and Dramatic Arts in New York City. Once she arrived in New York, Hertenstein was “locked into the thing I really wanted to do.”
“Living on the Upper West Side was cool. I’d walk by Lincoln Center and the Met frequently,” she said. “I was seeing shows and experiencing art at every level. It was hard for sure, but that energy in New York is unmatched anywhere. I was never bored.”
However, finding her calling and being depression-free are two different things. Perhaps this is why Hertenstein has come to see Diana as a friend as well as a character.
Diana, according to Hertenstein, knows what she needs. However, everyone around her is telling her something different.
“A lot of us stifle ourselves to fit in or to make someone else happy,” the actress said. “Something I've learned over the past several years is you need to advocate for yourself.
“I have found a lot of different things in Diana (from the first time I played her) and I hope to present her as someone who is fully human and not just a series of symptoms.”
Hertenstein sees different shades of the character and of herself than she did when she first played Diana six years ago.
“It’s difficult to play Diana but it’s incredibly healing for me personally,” she said. “You never play a character who’s exactly like you. However, when you find a role you connect with, it can be a beautiful way to explore a part of yourself.
“I’ve had a lot of conversations with people, through this show. Now if I'm struggling, a part of myself says let's do something about it instead of pretending everything’s OK.”
Photo credit: Kyle Long Photography.
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