Review: Julie Halston DECLASSIFIED! at Birdland In A Class All Its Own

It was a star-studded night at Birdland on Monday, as some of the industry's brightest, shiniest, most resplendent talents filled the club for the new Julie Halston show DECLASSIFIED! But nothing was shinier than the trophy that the newly-annointed Tony Award honoree carried with her onto the stage... except maybe for Halston's blonde tresses, properly colored and coiffed for the occasion, unlike that time that she had to self-color during the quarantine - one of the many tales of hilarity that would be shared during the hour-long program, every moment of which was written and executed to absolute perfection.

A Julie Halston comedy show is a thing that can't really be described, it has to be experienced. Fortunately for Halston fans around the world, Birdland live-streamed the occasion so that people everywhere could get a look at the actress in action, and what a blessing that is, truly, but nothing can beat being in the room to witness that unmistakable Julie Halston glow that has, yet, to be replicated by anyone else. Stand up comedy is a tricky art form, one in which an artist must walk a fine line of being the person that they really are, in real life, and the character that they are creating for the benefit of the audience. Julie Halston has been a pretty public figure in New York City, lo, these many years, and she has a style, onstage and off, that people know, especially those in the business of show. She is a Mistress of balancing Julie, the wiseacre who makes you laugh at the bar after the show, with Julie Halston, the comedienne who makes you howl from your seat, during the performance. Never, at any time, does the actress on the stage appear false or over-the-top, even in her most theatrical moments of parodying her mother in a locker room full of nude Octogenarians or describing a hilariously horrifying trip to the beach with her new beau. That's right, Julie Halston has a boyfriend, and it isn't just good for her, it's great for her act.

Anyone who has seen a Julie Halston show knows that there are certain "bits" that have been the mainstay of her act over the years: the reading of wedding announcements (hilarious), the reading of sections from books like, say, The New St. Joseph Catechism Manual (HI-Larious), and the reading of magazine articles, such as a (frankly, shocking) profile on Kate Moss (Hi-Ho-Larious). These readings are like Islands in a sea of comedy and, to get to them, Julie takes the audience on a boat ride through her life of observation, filled with the stories that make her make us laugh. Lockdown, moisturizer made out of very strange ingredients, Little Edie, The Scottish Play, cable television, medications, holy communion and the first Island: Catechism. Then the waters fill with more monology from Julie's life, monologues that take us to The Wedding Announcement reading, and, further down the line, the Kate Moss reading. It is in those trips, from island to island, from reading to reading, where Julie Halston has found some of her most delicious material of all time, all of it new because Julie Halston is not finished living, she is not through having adventures, she is not done eating life. Although very publicly widowed in 2018 (husband Ralph Howard was a celebrated newscaster), Halston took some time to mourn and, urged on by woman friends, tested the waters of dating, which (as anyone might guess) is comedy gold, particularly in Halston's aesthetic. The stories Julie Halston told on Monday night of learning to "app date," and of first meetings, and of trips out of the city into the jungles of Brooklyn and the Amish country proved to be some of the greatest comedy monologues she has ever created, brilliantly constructed in proper storytelling style, and masterfully executed in proper stand-up format, and always with that individual Julie Halston timing (to say nothing of vocal prowess that would make even the most proficient of voiceover artists envious). It is very easy for monologuists, storytellers, and comedians to fall back on that which is familiar, that which is tried-and-true, that which has fan history (like Halston's legendary show-closer, "Dear Ann Landers") but Julie Halston is an artist not content to rest on laurels, and her deep dive into waters unexplored yielded new material both remarkable and rewarding. This was one of the great nights out, and no mistake... but there is a sting at the end of the story.

Julie Halston is an actress of demand. She is busy. She has offers. She has work. And these comedy shows don't happen often enough. This was, indeed, Julie's first time back on the Birdland stage since the lockdown lifted. And that's just not fair. This isn't a criticism, merely an observation, a wistful wish that there were more Julie Halston in the world, more live performances, a NETFLIX special, something, anything that would and could bring more Julie Halston to the public. This is an original. This is an entity. There isn't another artist with the same voice, the same vision, the same artistry (or delivery) as Julie Halston, and more people deserve to bask in her light. Speaking personally, when this writer sat down at Birdland on Monday night, I was feeling overworked, exhausted, headache-y, and sad. When I left DECLASSIFIED, after an hour of listening to Julie Halston talk about her life, her experiences, and her observations, it was as though I had just woken from a ten-hour nap, refreshed, nourished, happy, and ready to start the day. It was nothing short of a miracle.

It has been said that laughter is the best medicine. That may be true. But if that is true, then it should also be said that Julie Halston is the surefire medicine. In the opinion of this reviewer, she is a tonic, the cure-all, with the power to, truly, make a person forget their troubles and just get happy. And the world, today especially, needs more of that. The world needs more Julie Halston.

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Photos by Stephen Mosher

Visit the Stephen Mosher website HERE.

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