Interview: Alexandra Silber of THE HOUR OF THE PEARL at The Green Room 42 October 27th and November 28th

Alexandra Silber, actress, authoress, motivator, educator, and ferocious advocate for individuality and authenticity, is about to debut her show THE HOUR OF THE PEARL at The Green Room 42.  After playing this very personal musical cabaret on the West Coast, the creator of the cabaret series I WISH: THE ROLES THAT COULD HAVE BEEN is ready to share the show with the luminescent title with her Manhattan-based fans.  She and longtime esteemed collaborator Ben Moss will open the show on October 27th (ticket link HERE) and play an encore on November 28th (ticket link HERE), both nights at 7 pm.  Silber being a favorite of the Broadway World Cabaret team, this reporter reached out to the woman known by many simply as Al to inquire about a chat by phone, and on a sunny New York afternoon, Al and Ste got on the phone to talk about faith, strength, wedding gowns, and what the heck the title of her show means, anyway.

Note: this interview was conducted before the war broke out, which is why there is no mention of world affairs or Israel in the extensive conversation about Judaism.

This interview was edited for space and content.

Photos by Stephen Mosher

Alexandra Silber, welcome to Broadway World!  How are you?

I'm great. I've had quite a busy couple of weeks doing like a million different things.

I see how busy you are because you're one of my favorite Instagram accounts to watch. 

Oh, thank you.

It is simultaneously uplifting and exhausting watching you on Instagram. How do you do it?

I know that it's about taking care of my body, mind, and spirit because when our instrument is flagging, in any way, we can't bring our whole self to the work or to our relationships. So I really try to prioritize making sure that I'm in good shape, in all of the ways.  It sounds a little boring, but  I feel like 15 years ago, coming out of the nineties into the aughts, there was this really Vogue thing to be really proud of how few calories, weight, and how little sleep you got and still achieve so much. There was like a glorification of lack, and I've never been into that. I got eight hours of sleep. I ate good food. I saw good friends. I have a spiritual life, and that's why I can do all these things. You know what I mean?  (Laughing)

I think that that's one of the great things that you teach by example.

Oh, thank you.  I just have to be me. I think that's all we can be.

And you are right in the middle of the high holy days, aren't you?

Oh yes!  I love these days that we're in right now -  the Days of Awe, and they're so good. They're so good because, first of all, I feel like Jewish holidays always have such good titles, you know? These 10 days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are called the Days of Awe, and it's because one of the central tenets of Judaism is its focus on life, on earth versus an afterlife. So it really is about being in awe of all of the beauties of the world and of life itself. And of course,  taking stock of how we can be better people and better citizens and better versions of ourselves. I love it. I think sometimes people get confused about Yom Kippur and these holidays and they think they're about guilt and shame, but I actually think they're the opposite. They're about setting ourselves free from guilt and shame.

The videos that you post are such a joy to watch because you talk about the holiday and what it is to you and what it is to the faith. And you do it with such joy and such knowledge. That is a really useful tool for those of who are not Jewish and I don't know.  And I love learning.

That makes me so happy!  And you're also reflecting back to me the exact goal, which is, in this age of activism where we almost don't get to be absolved from activist activities and standing for things, the way we did even 10 years ago. I recognized really early that anger and outrage, which are things I feel, they're not my best motivator. We have to identify where we can best be active, and, for me, with antisemitism, I think it's one thing to be like, “Antisemitism is bad, and I'm mad and outraged and scared and sad,” because I personally feel like those things are self-evident and that other people are better at discussing them.  But for me, I think I'm a talented communicator and teacher. I think I'm talented at sharing joy. You know that premise of (to kind of paraphrase Martin Luther King) more hate doesn't drown out hate - only light can do that. I feel like being Jewish joyfully while also illuminating for other people some things that they might not understand - it's very difficult to hate up close.  It's also very difficult to hate when you, further, understand something. I feel like that's like my gift.

Have you always been the optimist?

I don't know. I think I've been a realist. And what I mean by that - it's interesting that you asked because I was just thinking about this morning, and this is still a working thought, so let me know what you think. Pessimists see only problems, optimists see possibilities. But realists actually see the problem and simultaneously view essentiality and possibility inside them.  I like to go, for example, antisemitism is on the rise; this is an opportunity for me to really share some of my joy. And being joyful inside hatred is a really radical act. So I think realism, by that definition, has gotten me through some very high and very low moments of my life.

I love that.

Thank you.

But you are also really good at bringing your bring joy to the workspace. Everybody that works with you loves having you in the room. You bring joy to your social space, your friends all love being around you. You always lead with light.

I try.  I had a great example in that my dad, who was a person who offered the most valuable thing in between human beings (which I think is regard and attention) had this gift to make everybody that was in front of him seem like the most important person in the world. It was so memorable and so special - I just endeavor to live in that legacy.

How proud is your family of you with all of your achievements over the last years and your overwhelmingly happy marriage and all the things that you've done?

I hope so. I know so.  My mom and (my) husband Alec (are) the world's best hype squad.  When I see their faces out in the audience or on FaceTime, I just go, “I know that look.” That's my family, and a, just, incredible uplift… and not just in the shiny Broadway, West End, Carnegie Hall moments or book publishing moments. They've been there to cheer me on and be proud of me in my health journey, they're the faces I saw when I woke up from surgery, and I think that their pride in an uplift in character above accomplishment… we share those values and they've instilled those values in me.  And meeting Alec and living those values as married people has been a huge part of that. It's interesting that you bring this up because my mom said to me, last year when I was down in Houston doing the world premiere of LEND ME A SOPRANO… and we had the most incredible time. It was one of those very charmed experiences from top to bottom… and my mom said to me on opening night, “Your performance is wonderful, and the play is wonderful, and birthing this new play into the world is such a thing. But tonight I've been talking to all your colleagues and, Al, I want you to know how they feel about you is the thing I'm most proud of.” It meant more to me than anything.

Were your people more surprised or not surprised that you got married in a red wedding dress?

(Laughing heartily)  Totally unsurprised! I think they probably would've been surprised if it had been more conventional. But the red wedding dress was a couple of things. So you're mentioning some of my Jewish videos… you know how in one of the Yom Kippur videos, the most recent one, I was talking about (how) I don't really know how I feel about sin? I tried to do it in a really friendly voice because, you know, if sin is your thing, power to you. But I think, for me, with a white wedding dress - I don't really know how I feel about purity.  You know? So that was one thing, and, two, and I feel like you also have a connection to this - in a lot of Asian countries (and Alec is half Chinese) red is the fortunate color, the lucky color, and oftentimes the wedding dress color. So it was also honoring him and his culture. And, finally, the musical theater reason: I got married as Tzeitel on Broadway and on the Tony Awards 750 times in a traditional white wedding dress. I didn't want my dress to feel like a costume. I wanted it to feel like it was my wedding dress. 

And that's a wedding dress you can wear again.

Exactly! I have worn it again. I've worn it for some concerts. And it has pockets, exclamation point!

On the subject of concerts.

Yes.

You have a new show coming up.

I know, I'm so excited!

Tell me the story behind the title of this show.

I knew you would ask. I resisted a title for a long time because I didn't want the title to define the show - for some people, that's great, they have a theme or they have something they're kind of working on or working through or wanting to discuss. I wanted to capture a quality.   The first place that I shared this concert that we're going to be sharing at The Green Room 42 was on the West Coast.  It was going to be in Los Angeles, where I was born, and in Northern California, where my parents have a lot of history, and where my brother and his family live, and where I have a lot of professional history, with the San Francisco Symphony. So California is a place that I feel very drawn to. And, for me, the artist and the author that speaks about every element of California with the most insightful and universal language is John Steinbeck. The Hour of the Pearl is a quote from his book, Cannery Row, that describes that hour between full daylight and complete darkness. What I think a lot of people call the golden hour, but he describes it as a shimmering time when anything is possible. I thought, “Oh, that's where I want to live. It's where I want to make music. It's where I want to welcome people to join me.” That sometimes art and shared time and space exists not in a physical location but in a conceptual one. So I'm welcoming everyone to join me, not just below The Hour Of The Pearl, the show, but IN the hour of the pearl.

When you are creating a new show, do you find yourself working off of a theme first or taking the songs that you want to work with and using them to build the story arc?

I have done theme-based work. Some of them have been very narrative.  My very first cabaret was about why I went to the UK and why I returned - very narrative, very personal memoir-like story. I did one that was light as a feather called Ex Libris, A Trip to the Library, which was just all about books and literary ladies. Now, as I grow and evolve and age, I tend to want to discuss with the audience things that interest me, that move me, that excite my imagination and my spirit. It's really about creating a shared communal space inside the world of cabaret. I'm really focusing on making sure that every single song ignites me in some way, whether it's mentally, emotionally, spiritually, so that I can be in dialogue with the audience and ask the question, “Do you feel this way?” so that every song becomes a scene. And not just about me exploring something inside my own mind and body on stage to allow the audience to observe. It really becomes a scene and a conversation. I'll say, in sort of a follow-up question and answer, you cover cabaret, so you really know about this very distinct art form, which I don't think people always stop and examine very often, but cabaret is so incredibly specific inside the world of both live music and live theater. It crosses the fourth wall in a way that theater often doesn't. And it creates narrative and storytelling in a way that live music doesn't always need, in order to be itself. And, for me, the thing that's so extraordinary about that is that it means that the performers make eye contact with their audience. And everything that eye contact symbolizes - it becomes teamwork. It's not just me singing and connecting with my own mind and thoughts. It's my job, as the performer in a cabaret setting, to welcome, to summon, to create a brave space where the audience can participate in the music actively in a way that might be distinct from attending the theater or simply a live concert. To me, that's what makes cabaret special, and I want to create 75 minutes where it's not just what I do, but it's what we do. 

I’d like to spitball off of that because I have been in the room and watched performers in cabaret settings who are uncomfortable looking in the eyes of people in the audience, and uncomfortable if people in the audience talk back to them. And you're talking about having a discussion with your audience and connecting with them - is that something that has always come naturally to you?

I think so. First of all, I want to validate that connecting with people can be very scary. Being seen and being vulnerable in front of other human beings is one of the things that requires valiance.  So I don't want to diminish people who experience that fear - I think it's very normal. But I think, for me, I welcome that exchange, which is not always verbal, it's sometimes silent and sometimes that's the most powerful exchange of all. I also want to admit, when I'm engaging in that exchange, that I'm not always fear-free - because to be brave and to be courageous… I think sometimes we, as human beings, define that as being in the absence of fear, which I think is closer to the definition of fearless. When I'm performing there is fear, there is anxiety, there is vulnerability but I think the definition of courage is experiencing those feelings and doing it anyway, acting in the face of fear, anxiety, and vulnerability. That's what I welcome when I am performing in a cabaret setting: It is “Let's do this together.” 

Where do you find the strength to move ahead in fear?

Oh my gosh, what a great question. Here's what I'll say. I do think that some quality of courage and valiance is innate. I would never want to take credit for building that quality where it isn't warranted. I definitely have always welcomed living inside discomfort as a means of being alive and growing. So some of it is innate and I can't take credit for it. But beyond that, despite growing up in a really loving home, being really supported by my parents, and having great friends, and great community, great education, the fact that I grew up with a sick parent meant that very early in my life, I had to navigate facing fear, facing the very, very worst thing that happens to any of us, which is losing someone we love. I would say that when my dad passed away when I was 18, from cancer, he had been sick for 11 years, which was, I would say, the event - not just death but the illness experience were equal parts challenging. To realize that I lived in a posture of this sword hanging over my family's head at all times, and then, of course, the sword finally falling - I think it made little tiny leaps that people make at 18 seem achievable. What else was there to be afraid of, when I had lived through, and faced, the hardest thing - the gift of his passing was a period of my life where I said, “Well, what do I have to be scared of?  I know I'm going to live, it might be hard, it might be painful, it might flatten me, but I will not die of this.” And it's sort of unbelievable what you can achieve with that knowledge locked in. I'll say when I faced my own mortality and fragility with my health journey that sort of ended with my surgery in 2021, that question of “I might die of this” was really presented to me in a very real way.

I think my spirit, my concept of love, my love for being alive, my gratitude for the days I had already been given, made me welcome whatever I had ahead of me with gratitude and not with with rage. I can't really explain why that was in my hear but it was.  And then, finally, when you have healthy love in your life, the way I have, not only with my family and my husband but with my friends, so much is possible. We need community and we need each other.

You're very open publicly with all the aspects of your life.  I see how you talk about your past issues of health, which are not current, you are a healthy woman right now. You have shared about the whirlwind romance and marriage you and Alec shared, you share about inspiring people up from depression. Where does the instinct to be so accessible originate?

I love this question!  I think I'll say this: one is the knowledge of empathy that I wish to be the very person I needed when I was in the depth of the difficulty of these experiences. I wish to offer myself as a voice of comradeship, of mentorship, of you-are-not-alone-ness - to, basically, be the voice that I could design to be the supportive person, to become that for others, knowing what it would've meant to me. I think the second part of it is healthy boundaries, in knowing the difference between healthy sharing and things that are private.  It's a sort of strange example, but I think it's very evocative:  when you meet two spouses, there's an assumption that they have an intimate life in the bedroom. Right? There's an assumption of that. The knowledge of that is something you can share, but the details of it belong to no one else but that couple, right? The details and the poetry are private, the facts of it are public. There are things that will always be just for me, just for my closest people.  I'm very rigorous with myself about this… Everything I share, I make it past a litmus test that it is fully emotionally processed. I don't share anything that I don't feel I have a grasp on.  And that boundary has served me really well. And even sometimes when people will come to me and want to share or ask about private details, and I don't know them well enough, or we haven't earned a mutual intimacy with kindness, I really declare where that line is. I think it benefits everyone. I think people misunderstand boundaries sometimes. They think it's about creating space and keeping people from one another, but good boundaries, well-understood boundaries are actually about making sure that everybody can connect, hopefully, and to flourish inside the connections. I really know where those private needs details do and don't belong. Does that make sense?

It does.  So now The Hour of The Pearl - how are you and Ben Moss doing in your preparations for the show?

I’m so excited!   Ben and I are celebrating a decade of music-making together. Part of this is really celebrating the return of my health and part of my body is my voice, and to really celebrate that it can do all of the things I wish it to do again. So it's going to be a variety show, and not only of genre and of range, but of emotion. I'm hoping that we can create an environment at The Green Room 42 where you feel like you've been invited to the living room of Ben Moss and I and we are just going to have a beautiful evening that is intimate, that is powerful, that is funny, where people can both crack jokes and shed tears. 

Do you have your outfit picked out?

Not yet!  I might wear one outfit in October and another in November. 

One of the fun parts about going to an Alexandra Silber Silver show is getting to see what outfit she picks.

I'll say it'll be as luminescent as the Pearl. 

Al, thank you so much for chatting with me today. I'm so glad we could do this. 

It's always such a pleasure. You know, press can be a lot of things, but with you it always just feels like a chat between pals and I feel seen and understood, and I can't tell you what that means to me. Thank you.

Alexandra Silber has a website HERE and the next edition of I WISH: THE ROLES THAT COULD HAVE BEEN will be on November 13th at 54 Below - THIS is the ticket link.

 

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