Obviously, there are spoilers ahead.
Well, here we are at the season finale and Hannah has all but lost it.
In fact, going into tonight's episode, titled "Together," pretty much every character on GIRLS has officially become the very worst human being they could possibly be. But for once,
Lena Dunham provides a little closure with the finale - or at least a bright spot in their horribly depressing lives.
Following last week's incident with the Q-Tip, Hannah's ear is still healing, and her OCD is still in full clicking-and-clapping-and-counting-form, wracking her mental state like never before. It's caused her to slip into a hypochondriac pseudo-hypnosis where, in between snapping her fingers, she's searching for such things as "when does your body start melting down?" and "normal tongue."
As if things couldn't get any worse, her editor doesn't think she's committed to her book. He's also threatening to slap her with a hefty lawsuit if she doesn't turn in her pages in a timely manner. So that's great.
"I'm gonna write a whole book in one day," she sings as she cocoons herself in old sheets and (presumably) the smell of dirty bed and oily hair.
But rather than actually attempt to write the things in a single day, Hannah calls her dad to loan her the money to pay the advance back to the publisher: so she can have more time to write it. He denies her the cash, and she's back to wallowing in her crusty ear-blood and empty Word document.
Natalia and Adam are still having sex. (They're still even dating?) Well, she's at least standing up for herself now, i.e., not allowing him to call her a 'whore' or walk her around on all-fours like some kind of spaniel. So progress is being made with these two. For now.
Marnie and Charlie are officially back together, or, at least sleeping with each other again. His methods have...improved, and Marnie wonders how many people he was with while they were broken up. Their relationship, as normal as it seems at the moment, is headed to awkward-city so quickly.
Shoshanna and Ray are having intercourse issues of their own. Tension has undoubtedly arisen. Between Sho's inability to abandon her guilt after shacking up with the doorman, and Ray's inability not to act sad all the time, they've hit a bit of a relationship standstill.
He considers going back to school to get his PhD in Latin Studies, but the owner of Grumpie's talks him out of it - they're opening up a second location, and he wants Ray to run the two-story installment with bonus pizza oven. He accepts.
But when he goes to tell the news to Sho - she denies him.
"I love you so much...but sometimes I love you the way that like, I feel sorry for a monkey," she says. "Like, they need so much help and they're in such an ugly cage. You know what I mean?"
He thinks there's someone else. He can't believe that a young college student wouldn't want to be with a 30-year old guy of such high quality.
"I can't be surrounded by your negativity while I'm trying to grow into a fully-formed human," Shoshanna says. "You hate everything!"
She can't deal with his "black soul" now, she says. He just needs to go and change and they can be together when he's better and she's older. Needless to say, this doesn't end well. Ray leaves Shoshanna crying on a pink armchair.
In between Sho and Ray's lovemaking and breaking up, Marnie also thinks she and Charlie are now on a set course to get married.
"We're settled down," she says optimistically, as if they're just a couple of teenagers who, because they're dating, might as well be wed. "We're old fogies, now."
But they aren't even really dating, according to Charlie. They are, however, breaking up again in
The Middle of a restaurant. Just kidding! They're totally staying together so they can have babies, make each other snacks, and watch each other die, all wrinkly and old and still as equally pathetic.
Things may be looking up for Marnie, finally. I mean, being back with Charlie can't be any worse than when she wasn't, right? At least she won't have to wear that clown get-up and be a hostess: Charlie's totally rich now.
And Marnie totally wants to share the news/rub it in Hannah's face. She shows up at the apartment, but Hannah hides, and when Marnie leaves, attempts to cut her hair into a pixie cut. The end result makes her look like an 8-year-old boy - so she calls her old druggie pal/neighbor, Laird, to come fix it up. It looks worse. He gives her a bowl cut.
After the trim, once again, Hannah begins to lose it. She feels like no one really cares about her anymore. No one really looks out for her, no one's there, at all, to make sure she doesn't "cut herself with glass." Or things to that effect.
Laird doesn't buy it. He stands over her as she throws herself to the ground.
"You are the most self-involved, presumptuous person I've ever met." Laird says. And you know what? Duh. This is perhaps the truest statement spoken thus far in GIRLS' second season.
Abandoned by even someone who's not really her friend, Hannah FaceTimes (think Skype on an iPhone) Adam after leaving Jessa a rambling, shouty voicemail (which honestly, she will never listen to.) Her OCD kicks in, and he immediately leaves, running, without shirt, through Brooklyn like some sort of hipster Prince Stalker to rescue her.
"I was always here," Adam says, out of breath and sweaty, as he sweeps Hannah off her feet, and kisses her a whole lot. Probably with stress-breath and too much tongue. And that's that. A happy ending on GIRLS? Wait for the third season to start: I'm sure Hannah will be eating whip-cream with a spoon and/or in a mental institution in no time.
Things seem to be looking up for the GIRLS. Things felt right again in "Together," like Dunham had abandoned the exploitative, shock-for-shock's sake tone that had been prevalent throughout the sophomore season, bringing things closer to the inaugural outing of these absolutely insane, self-destructive, 20-something girls.
GIRLS season three is now in production, and, if we're lucky, should be airing on
HBO sometime before the year's out.
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