Highlights from SNL's Weekend Update with Seth Meyers on NBC

Below are highlights from SNL'S WEEKEND UPDATE WITH Seth Meyers which aired OCTOBER 6, 2012 on NBC.

“WEEKEND UPDATE” ANCHOR Seth Meyers – “Well, you have to hand it to Mitt Romney, because President Obama sure did.

MEYERS – “Many political experts were surprised that during Wednesday's debate President Obama failed to mention Mitt Romney's infamous 47 percent comment. Obama elected to take the high road, forgetting that that road leads to building houses with Jimmy Carter.”

MEYERS – “During Wednesday's debate Mitt Romney said that even though he likes Big Bird, if elected he would stop the subsidy to PBS - it's a surprising threat considering that "Mitt" is such an excellent Muppet name.”

MEYERS – “Romney went on to say if elected he would no longer borrow money from China to pay for PBS. China funds PBS? I guess that explains why this week's Sesame Street was brought to you by the letter this.”

MEYERS – “According to Nielson numbers, more than 70 million people watched Wednesday's debate either on TV, online, or from one of the podiums.”

MEYERS – “In an interview promoting his new tell-all, Arnold Schwarzenegger said his marriage to Maria Shriver fell apart because of him and that he hopes to one day win her back. And what better way to win back her love back than to write a book about all the times you tricked her?”

MEYERS – “This Sunday marks the 5th annual New Jersey Zombie Walk, so if you see someone with dead, lifeless eyes trudging around New Jersey, ask them where you can find the Zombie Walk.”

MEYERS – “A growing number of dairy farmers in the Midwest are dealing with the rising price of corn by feeding their cows candy such as marshmallows and gummy worms. Of course, it's a nightmare when it's time to get those cows to go to bed.”

MEYERS – “A new company has begun selling plaques for gravestones that contain QR codes, allowing visitors to
the grave site to scan the code and be sent to a webpage about the deceased. Though I don't think it's a good idea
for the webpage to have a comments section.”

MEYERS – “The MGM Grand Hotel in Las Vegas has created a series of new "StayWell" rooms designed to promote a healthy way of living, including Vitamin infused showers, antimicrobial coatings on furniture and extra soundproofing. "I'll take it!" said a murderer.”

MEYERS – “A new device is being tested that sends farmers a text message when their dairy cows are in heat. Disturbingly, the text reads "hey, you up?"”

MEYERS – “Pennsylvania police arrested a woman who allegedly had hidden 36 glass vials of cocaine in her vagina. Police became suspicious when she walked by them and it sounded like someone adjusting a chandelier.”

MEYERS – “Veterinarians are saying they have seen a rise in the number of incidents of dogs being stoned in places where medical marijuana is legal. And there's nothing sadder than a normally energetic dog just sitting there, staring at his own paw.”

Photo courtesy of NBC

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