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Highlights from SNL's Weekend Update with Seth Meyers, 5/18

By: May. 21, 2013
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Below, check out highlights from SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE'S WEEKEND UPDATE with Seth Meyers, from May 18!

"WEEKEND UPDATE" ANCHOR Seth Meyers -"President Obama this week denied that he knew about the inspector general's report detailing the IRS's increased scrutiny of conservative groups. So nothing to worry about, America, there's just a bunch of stuff happening that the president doesn't know about."

MEYERS - "The President also condemned the IRS for targeting conservative groups for extra scrutiny saying, "Public service is a solemn privilege." In response, Joe Biden quietly deflated his whoopee cushion."

MEYERS - "Minnesota this week became the 12th state in the country to legalize gay marriage. So finally Minneapolis can stop pretending St. Paul is just its 'twin.'"

MEYERS - "Disney is being criticized for redesigning Merida, the character from Brave, to make her more stylish like the traditional Disney princesses. Though frankly, I'm a little more disturbed by what they've done with Goofy."

MEYERS - "Researchers in the Netherlands are developing a form of in vitro meat, which can be grown in a lab. They say the in vitro meat will be perfect for couples who can't have steaks of their own."

Amy Poehler - "Three people in New Jersey were arrested on charges of running a prostitution ring at a senior citizen housing complex. Workers at the complex became suspicious when they heard a man yelling "bingo" and it wasn't bingo
night."

POEHLER - "A restaurant in San Francisco called Bacon Bacon has been ordered to close after neighbors complained about the overwhelming smell of bacon - and its got to be really tricky to walk up to a cop and complain that something smells like bacon."

MEYERS - "A new report reveals that some families are hiring disabled tour guides when visiting Disney theme parks to help them avoid long lines and use the handicapped entrances. And it's all made possible by the Controversial Take-A-Wish Foundation."

MEYERS - "A topless painting of Golden Girls actress Bea Arthur was sold at auction this week for 1.9 million dollars. To someone who doesn't understand what dollars are."

MEYERS - "Soccer superstar David Beckham on Thursday announced his retirement from the game. So now he will probably just spend his days sitting around the house, bending it."

MEYERS - "An Australian politician this week, who was taking a morning jog, was attacked by a kangaroo. The man could be heard shouting, 'help! I know this is hilarious, but still, help!'"

POEHLER - "Massachusetts police arrested a woman after she ordered a steak-and-cheese sandwich then punched the employee who made it because it had "too many pickles." But you know what? I'll BET that employee knows the right number of pickles now."

POEHLER - "A sushi chef in Connecticut is planning to use cicadas this summer in some of his recipes. Said the chef, 'I'm tryin' to get fired.'"

POEHLER - "Prince Harry this week toured the Jersey Shore with New Jersey Governor Chris Christie. It was the first meeting between the Prince, of the House of Windsor, and the Governor, of the House of Pancake."



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