Previously on desperate housewives Tom and Lynette are still separated. Susan and mike might be in trouble with their positively perfect marriage. And Bree broke up with Chuck, assumedly screwing herself.
Gaby get's her elementary school drop-off privileges revoked. Gotta love that classic DH suburbia antics. Then Eva Longoria get's bullied for being short. It was really cute. This is going to be a fun throwback subplot.
Lynette is doing her separation by the books, and Vanessa Williams comes out of no where and bitches at the frumpy single lady...with a glass of wine in hand, of course.
Oh wow! Danielle, Bree's very own awful hot mess daughter is back! It's so weird seeing her as not a teenager. Oh! A shot about Andrew being a gay slut. Zing!
"There is nothing you can do to make me stop loving you" said Mike in response to Susan covering up a murder. He's having a hard time getting over that, you know even though he has murdered, assaulted, abused drugs, etc. Anyway, Susan SWEARS no more secrets between them.
Dana the Paina has been banishing parents to the awful B lot for some time now and Gaby leads a revolt against her. And then yells "This is Sparta!" What a timely reference...considering that movie came out 5 years ago our time and 10 years ago their time but whatevs.
Oh yeah, Susan is an artist! Well, illustrator as her new art teacher quipes. Her pictures of bunnys and hedgehogs just don't cut it for him. He challenges her to reach into her soul to paint horrible dreary art, which is the only kind of art.
Bree wants to talk to Daniel about her future, and her son who was Bree's son once upon a time....that was a fun time. Danielle wants to start a business! I'm so excited to hear what it is. ...I hope it's crazy.
Lynette and Tom can still stand to be in the same room with each other with is just lovely. They even want to go to a couple's counselor together! But uh oh, he just got a call from another woman? If I didn't hear casting reports about his new girlfriend, I would swear this is a famous Desperate Housewives
Red Herring.
Haha. Public School joke. This Dana really is a skank. Gaby begins her campaign for new school tyrant, but no one will publicly support her.
It's a sex swing business.
Lynette gave Penny a tablet device to spy on Tom. Oh look Tom and a mystery young woman in a bathing suit. Subtle
Felicity Huffman sadness moment. I'm so excited to see what this woman does after the season. I thin she should definitely consider the stage. She could fill a whole theatre with intense emotion...but anyway.
Yeah, this Susan/Art teacher subplot is boring me. Oh wow Susan is going crazy with that easel! She just tore it up! And she gave "Screw You's" to the entire world. Oh so much anger. Ok I take back that boring part.
Vanessa Williams wants again comes out of nowhere, this time to reveal Danielle's sex swing business to Bree, obviously getting one for her fabulous self. Bree is trapped in the swing after having a judgmental tiff with her messed up daughter.
Mike tells Susan to accept her dark secret and it is now a part of her. It's wonderful being married to an ex con.
We are again dealing with Bree being judgmental and critical. I would love to see these ladies actually change by the end of the series. Anyway I completely support Bree joining her daughter in this sex factory venture.
Vanessa will help Lynette spy on Tom's new prospective girl by taking her fitness class. I feel like the woman next to Lynette is going to be Tom's girlfriend. That would be very Des.
Oh snap. Gaby is about to show Dana up...by going to the drop-off. She just hit her with the car. I am quite literally rotfling.
"That cast is so slimming. It's like hard spanx." Gaby gets to be PTA president, which is apparently really going to suck. It turned Dana into the horrible woman she is today. Well Gaby kind of already is horrible so maybe this new responsibility will be good for her.
Lynette finishes the class.
Vanessa Williams is glistening. Grand reveal! Tom is dating...Lynette's exercise neighbor. She storms out and it is...devastating.
Final images: Gaby in an unflattering traffic uniform, Susan being sad, and Chuck being handed a picture of a man who I can't quite put my finger on...we might not have met him but...final image so it must be important.
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