Check Out Quotables from TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON, Week of 6/20

An American television institution for almost 60 years, "The Tonight Show" continues to be a home to big-name celebrity guests and a stage for top musical and comedic talent. Taking a cue from his unforgettable predecessors, including hosts Johnny Carson and Jay Leno, Fallon carrys on the tradition that audiences know and love - kicking off every show with the iconic "Tonight Show" monologue. Known for his huge online presence, Fallon will brings along with him many of the popular segments, celebrity sketches and musical parodies that fans have grown to love on "Late Night," including #Hashtags, Thank You Notes and Slow Jam the News.

Below, check out quotables from NBC's 'THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON' June 20-24:

Jimmy Fallon Quotables 6.20.16

I want to start by wishing you a happy first day of summer! That's right, today is the longest day of the year because it's the beginning of the Summer Solstice, or because you just blew a 3-1 lead to lose to the Cleveland Cavaliers.

Of course, I do want to say congrats to the Cavs for their big win! Last night, they made one of the biggest comebacks of all-time to defeat the Golden State Warriors, who many people thought were unbeatable. Then Bernie Sanders said, (BERNIE) "Is everyone as turned on as I am right now?"

It's the first NBA title and the first championship for Cleveland in 52 years. And now a lot of sports writers are saying that Cleveland will no longer be synonymous with losing. Then the Cleveland Browns said, "No, we're still here."

Of course last night was also another big episode of Game of Thrones. But I heard that HBO's streaming service "HBO Now" went down right in the middle of the show. But on the bright side, at least it guaranteed that kids called their dads on Father's Day. "Hi dad, do you know what's wrong with the HBO account? Oh and Happy Father's Day I guess."

I also want to say congrats to Chelsea Clinton, who welcomed her second child over the weekend. After the birth, Bill brought flowers, while Hillary brought a focus group to help name the baby. (They say "Andrew Michael Jonathan Kevin Brian" would do very well in the swing states.)

Speaking of Hillary. I saw that she just received an endorsement from The Bakery, Confectionery, Tobacco Workers and Grain Millers Union. Even the Village People were like, "What a weird combination of jobs." (Bakers and tobacco workers??)

But the big political story today is that Donald Trump fired his campaign manager, Corey Lewandowski. Trump said Lewandowski was controversial, impulsive and short tempered - and will make a great running mate.

And this was a little controversial. Pope Francis recently said that the majority of modern Catholic marriages are worthless because couples don't always mean it when they say they'll love each other forever. And that's the last time Pope Francis was ever asked to give a best man speech.

Speaking of baseball, a little news for Yankees fans. It's rumored that Derek Jeter is getting married to model Hannah Davis in two weeks. He's so excited to get married that he's been throwing himself a bachelor party for the last 20 years.

Jimmy Fallon Quotables 6.21.16

Some surprising news about the Donald Trump campaign today. A new Election Commission report just came out saying that the Trump campaign isn't doing so well financially, and is practically broke. It's not good - in fact today, Trump stole a bunch of towels from his own hotel.

Yeah, the report revealed that Donald Trump's campaign started this month with only 1.3 million dollars, which is almost eight million dollars less than Bernie Sanders' campaign. Even Bernie was like, (SANDERS) "How does it feel to be poor, you LOSER!" (You're in the BOTTOM one percent! Even worse!!)

And I saw that this week, President Obama will be attending the Global Entrepreneurship Summit in California. The only place to see more people describing themselves as "entrepreneurs" is on "The Bachelorette." (DUMB) "Yeah, I'm a businessman, an entrepreneur, and a businessman."

Let's get to some sports here. People are still talking about the Cavs winning the NBA title the other night. And I saw that yesterday in Cleveland, more than 20,000 fans greeted the team when they landed at the airport. Well, most of them were just in a really long TSA line - but they were still supportive! "Congrats LeBron!! Want a half full bottle of water?!"

And get this. It's being reported that LeBron James' 11 year-old son already has basketball scholarship offers from Duke and Kentucky. After hearing this, LeBron was like, "So I can stop saving for his college? Phew."

Here's some local news. Yesterday, thousands of people gathered in Times Square and did yoga to celebrate International Yoga Day. Yeah - yoga in Times Square. Which explains that NEW position: "Downward Drunken Elmo." (I THINK he's just doing yoga...)

And this is cool. 72 new emojis came out today, and I saw that one of the new emojis is a pregnant woman. Apparently it's the emoji you get nine months after texting, "You up?" ("Uh oh" emoji!")

Jimmy Fallon Quotables 6.22.16

Of course, things are really heating up between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton. That's right, Hillary gave a speech yesterday attacking Trump, and then today, Trump gave a counter-speech attacking Hillary. Which means 2016 will always be remembered as the election of, "Shut Up / No, YOU Shut Up."

Yeah, Trump really went after Hillary Clinton today. In fact, he said that Hillary quote, "gets rich by making you poor." Then Hillary was like, "You mean like owning a bunch of casinos?"

But as I mentioned, Hillary gave this speech about Donald Trump yesterday and said quote, "He's written a lot of books about business" but said "they all seem to end at Chapter 11." Then Bernie Sanders said, (BERNIE) "Even I felt that burn!"

And while he was back at the Capitol yesterday, Bernie Sanders accidentally went to the Republican lunchroom. Bernie knew he wasn't in the Democrats' lunchroom when he couldn't get a free lunch.

Actually Bernie gave an interview on CSPAN today, and admitted for the first time that he probably won't be the democratic nominee. Which at this point is like me admitting I probably won't get drafted into the NBA tomorrow night. (Bernie actually has a better chance at playing in the NBA than me.)

Speaking of the NBA. I saw that the Cleveland Cavaliers' had their big victory parade today. And apparently LeBron James rode through the Cleveland Cavaliers' victory parade in the back of a Bentley while smoking a cigar. While the rest of the team was behind him crammed into one Toyota Tercel.

Check this out. I read that 62 percent of Colorado high school students say they have never used marijuana. Which raises the question - how stoned were the high school students who ADMITTED to smoking marijuana? (MOM) "Are you smoking weed in there??" (STONER) "Nope! You want some??"

That's right, 62 percent of the high schoolers in Colorado said they don't smoke marijuana even though it's legal in the state. Yeah, they said smoking got a lot less cool once their dads started doing it all the time. (NERDY DAD) "Hey son, take a look at the gnarly joint I rolled today! Wanna blaze it up with your old man?"

And finally, this is pretty crazy. I saw that one of Russia's richest men is getting divorced from his wife and apparently she's seeking seven billion dollars, which would be the largest divorce settlement in history. Then Trump said, (TRUMP) "Eh - stay tuned." (DEEP BREATH)

Jimmy Fallon Quotables 6.23.16

Here's the latest on the election. Donald Trump is actually taking a break from the campaign to go visit his golf resorts in Scotland tomorrow. And right after he leaves the U.S., Republicans will say, "Quick, build the wall!"

Actually a big story this week is that Trump's campaign isn't doing so well financially. A recent report said his campaign even spent over 100,000 dollars for meals just last month. Then Trump said, "Well, that's the price you pay for hiring Chris Christie."

And get this, Hillary Clinton gave a speech yesterday where she talked about employment. She said that not every good job requires a four-year college degree. Then this year's graduates said, "This is the worst commencement speech EVER."

Meanwhile Bernie Sanders still hasn't officially dropped out of the race for president, but earlier today, he gave a speech with the theme "where we go from here." I think he was basically asking the crowd for directions back to Vermont.

Of course, the other main story is that Democrats held a big sit-in on the House floor, to protest Congress' refusal to vote on gun control. Or in other words, Democrats were tired of Congress not getting anything done, so they refused to get anything done until someone got something done.

And I saw that as people in Britain headed to the polls today to vote on Brexit, torrential rain flooded London's streets and disrupted its public transportation. As opposed to OUR election, which will be flooded by frogs and locusts.

Let's get to some sports here. Yesterday, the Knicks made a huge trade with the Chicago Bulls to get All-Star Derrick Rose. Yep, I guess the Bulls approached the Knicks, looked them in the eyes and said, "Will you accept this Rose? OMG! Chicago B. gave Knick a rose last night!"

Jimmy Fallon Quotables 6.24.16

Of course, it's some historic news from overseas. Last night, the UK officially voted to leave the European Union, and I read that it caused the British pound to hit a 31-year low. You can tell Brits are struggling - today, Queen Elizabeth was wearing one of those cardboard crowns from Burger King. (That happened fast!)

And this is really big. Following the vote, British Prime Minister David Cameron actually resigned, saying that the country needs new leadership. Then Americans said, "Can you start HERE next January?"

And listen to this. I read that former London mayor Boris Johnson is the favorite to replace David Cameron for Prime Minister. People have noticed that his hair is very similar to Donald Trump's. Trump was like, "It should look the same - it came from the same litter."

Here's a little TV news. I read that the stars of "Game of Thrones" have gotten huge raises and will make 500,000 dollars per episode next season. So when you see a character get killed off, you know the suffering on their face is real. "Nooo! My second yacht!"

Let's get to some sports here. Last night was the NBA Draft, you guys! The Los Angeles Lakers selected 18-year-old Brandon Ingram with the second pick, but many think he's too skinny to play in the NBA. It's the first time anyone in Los Angeles has ever been told they were "too skinny."

But check this out. I read that President Obama is apparently interested in owning an NBA team after he leaves office. You'll know it's Obama's team when they travel too much and never pass anything.

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