Check Out Quotables from TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON 4/23-4/27

Check out quotables from TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JIMMY FALLON 4/23-4/27:

Jimmy Fallon Quotables 4.23.18

Well, the big news is that today, Prince William and Kate Middleton welcomed their third child, a baby boy. Right now, the top three name predictions are "Arthur, Albert and James" followed by "Ronnie, Pauly D and The Situation."

Actually, a lot of people were betting on the name of the new Royal Baby. And those people have a name too - they're called "gambling addicts."

But the baby weighed in at 8 pounds, 7 ounces. And this is nice - he already has more hair than his dad.

Let's get to some news here. French President Emmanuel Macron is visiting Trump in Washington, and I saw that today, they planted a tree together. Out of habit, after they dug the hole, Trump threw in his tax returns.

That's right, Trump is hosting Emmanuel Macron. Trump loves Macron, cuz when he speaks English Trump closes his eyes and pretends it's the candlestick from "Beauty & The Beast."

Get this. Over the weekend, Trump tweeted about James Comey and Robert Mueller, but he misspelled the words "counsel" and "shady." Trump doesn't know the red underline means "spellcheck," he just thinks it's his phone telling him it loves that part of the tweet.

Oh, I saw that today is World Book Day! People were gonna celebrate, then they said, "Eh - I'll just wait for World Movie Day."

Get this. At this weekend's London Marathon, a man proposed to his girlfriend while dressed as a T-Rex. Which backfired when his arms were too short to open the ring box.

Some tech news. I heard that some Gmail users have been getting spam messages from themselves. Which got really confusing for THE ONE guy who actually IS a Nigerian Prince.

And finally, I read about a man who was bitten by a shark, a bear and a rattlesnake in less than four years and survived. The man thanks God he's still alive - while God said, "What do I have to do to nail this guy?"

Jimmy Fallon Quotables 4.24.18

Tonight President Trump hosted a big state dinner for French President Emmanuel Macron at the White House. There was an awkward moment when Trump said, "I'll have the 'President Trump'" and the waiter said, "Sir, that's not the menu - that's your name card."

Actually, I read that the main course was rack of lamb. But after Trump grabbed the rack, his lawyer had to pay it $130,000.

I saw that the music at tonight's dinner was provided by the Washington National Opera. When Macron asked Trump if he likes opera, Trump was like, "Not if she runs against me in 2020!"

Finally, listen to this, you guys. During rush hour here in New York yesterday, a woman gave birth in the back of an Uber. The mother was overjoyed, while the other people in her Uber Pool were like, "We'll walk from here."

Jimmy Fallon Quotables 4.25.18

We have a great show! Serena Williams and Priyanka Chopra are my guests tonight! Also David Blaine is here to do some magic! He's such a good magician that President Trump just asked him if he could make Stormy Daniels disappear.

Let's get to some news here. Today was Trump's third day with French President Emmanuel Macron. You can tell they've been together for a while, cuz earlier Macron was like, (FRENCH) "For the last time, I don't know the rat from Ratatouille!"

But Trump and Macron have been doing a lot. They went on a helicopter tour, they had a fancy dinner, they held hands - if things keep going well, Macron will move on to the Hometown Dates.

Actually, they had an official State Dinner last night, where Melania honored the French guests by wearing Chanel. When asked who made his outfit, the president was like, (TRUMP) "Targét."

Get this. I read that Playboy is hosting an after-party for Saturday's White House Correspondents Dinner. Which will be weird when Trump skips the dinner, but shows up at the after-party.

And this is big. Ronny Jackson, Trump's doctor and his pick to run the Department of Veterans Affairs, might be in trouble for getting drunk at work. But in Jackson's defense, if your job was to look at Donald Trump naked, you'd drink too.

That's right, Jackson may have been drinking at work. His patients knew there was trouble when they walked in for their physicals and the doctor was in HIS underwear.

This is crazy. Today Kanye West tweeted that he and Trump are "brothers" and are both "dragon energy." Trump responded saying "Very cool!" In a related story, Trump just made Kanye the new Secretary of Dragon Energy.

Actually, I saw that Kanye fired his manager this week, and tweeted, "I can't be managed." Then Kim was like, "Stop tweeting and come in here!" and he said, "Yes, dear!"

And finally, this week, Alaska Airlines merged with Virgin America. Afterward, Virgin said the merger was really special and didn't hurt as much as they thought it would.

Jimmy Fallon Quotables 4.26.18

We have got Kevin Bacon on the show tonight! And Alexis Bledel is here! She is in "The Handmaid's Tale" with Elisabeth Moss, who was in "Girl Interrupted" with Winona Ryder, who was in "Reality Bites" with Ben Stiller, who was in "Zoolander" with Will Ferrell, who was in "Step Brothers" with John C. Reilly, who was in "The River Wild" with Kevin Bacon!

Let's get to some news here. This morning, President Trump did a live phone interview with "Fox & Friends." It was tough for Trump - he didn't know whether to focus on the questions, or watch himself on TV.

But you could tell Trump was excited to call into his favorite show. When they answered the phone, Trump was like, "Am I the first caller?! What did I win?!"

I wanna say Happy Birthday to First Lady Melania Trump! Yep, Melania made a wish, blew out her candles, opened her eyes and said, "Oh crap, he's still here."

Some tech news. I heard that there's a new Amazon Alexa coming out that's made just for kids. Yeah, after an hour of answering your kid's nonstop questions, it just puts on a movie to shut them up.

Actually, I saw that today Americans celebrated "National Take Our Sons and Daughters To Work Day." And tomorrow, kids will celebrate "New Appreciation For Going To School Day."

And finally, Subway just announced that they're closing 500 restaurants. People were stunned - they were like, "Subway considers itself a restaurant?"

Jimmy Fallon Quotables 4.27.18

Guys, DR. PHIL is my guest tonight! He's here to answer the question on everyone's mind: what the hell is going on with Kanye?

Yeah, DR. PHIL is here! Or as he'll be known in a few years, Oprah's Chief of Staff.

Some big news here. The Senate has confirmed Mike Pompeo to be the new Secretary of State. Pompeo says he's excited and looks forward to working under Trump for the next three to four weeks.

And today, Trump met with German Chancellor Angela Merkel. But he was pretty disappointed when he found out "Merkel" wasn't the neighbor from "Family Matters." (TRUMP) "Just say, 'Did I do that?'"

You guys, it's finally starting to feel like Spring! It can be tough for people with allergies though. Today, Trump's lawyer sneezed, and a bunch of hush money flew out of his nose.

Actually I saw that Trump's lawyer, Michael Cohen, is gonna plead the fifth about the Stormy Daniels case. He says he doesn't wanna lie and go to jail, but he also doesn't wanna tell the truth and go to jail.

Some entertainment news. Tom Cruise said that while filming the new "Mission: Impossible" movie, he jumped out of an airplane 106 times. Then afterward, the director was like, "I think we'll just use the first take."

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