BWW Recap: Wiggin' Out Over Tonight's SELFIE!

Although there have been numerous articles claiming that SELFIE is likely to get cancelled, I haven't given up on it yet. Tonight's episode was full of important lessons, as well as great, albeit random guest stars including FREAKS AND GEEKS and NOT ANOTHER TEEN MOVIE's Samm Levine, recording artist and model Amber Rose, and the Man Your Man Could Smell Like himself, Isaiah Mustafa.

It seems as though Eliza still hasn't gained any traction in her persuit to become less social media obsessed. She's still tweeting her food, snapping pictures of her daily outfit, and not paying attention to other people. When Henry asks what her plans are for the weekend, Eliza replies with a huge slang-filled monologue that basically boils down to getting more "follow-whores" to remind her bestfriend, Britt (Rose) that "she's a worthless skank." Makes total sense. Henry suggests doing something to help others, which completely confuses Eliza. Henry then quotes the Loverboy song "Working For The Weekend" to explain to her that some people use their whole weekend to work. Suddenly, Larry and Terrence (Levine) join in on the jam session. After arguing about the true meaning of the song, Eliza promises to work for the weekend, if Henry promises not to.

Charmonique joins in on the conversation and tells everyone that she's going to her high school reunion in hopes of reconnecting with Mitchell McMoney, "the one that got away." After a hilarious 90s flashback, Charmonique explains the sad, lovelorn tail. Eliza, trying to make herself look good, asks Charmonique if she can come over and help her get ready, to which Charmonique agrees. We then find out that Henry's "crazy" plans for the weekend include a big salad and some grilled chicken. Turn down for what?! He then finds out the children's vitamin line, his first big rebrand, is being taken off the shelf. After another hilarious 90s flashback, Henry explains how it all happened.

As Henry gets in the elevator to head home, he is cornered by Sapperstein, who guilts him into working the entire weekend in order to come up with a way to save the vitamin line. Looks like he won't be keeping his promise to Eliza.

Eliza shows up to Charmonique's apartment to help her get ready. We then enter her ginormous wig vault full of everything from Mary J. Blige to Erykah Badu. Eliza cautions her against doing something so drastic that will cause people to not be able to recognize her...like Renee Zellweger. This part confused me because I just saw the news about Zellweger's new face online today and there's no way they filmed the episode today, so how'd they know?! After trying on a T-Boz wig and jamming out to "No Scrubs", Charmonique gets a text that her babysitter isn't coming. After a lot of hinting and guilt, Eliza finally agrees to step in.

Eliza is left with Charmonique's son, hilariously played by SUBURGATORY's Keith L. Williams. We soon find out that he only eats chicken nuggets and Charmonique's wig closet costs $60,000+. Um what? That's a lot of hair. In one of the funniest moments of the episode, Kevin tells his mother to "get it!" before leaving for the reunion.

Henry gets a call from Eliza who says she hopes he's not working, which he denies and says he's about to get "turnt," even though he's sitting at his table looking at the vitamin bottle. Eliza then confesses her problems with her friend, Britt, to Kevin who comes up with a plan claiming that "the internet is all about illusions, girl!"

At the reunion, Charmonique runs into two old friends. Annoyed and looking for McMoney, Charmonique tells them that she "didn't come here to talk smack with you thirsty rachets." What a great line! Charmonique finds Mitchell and suggests they find a quiet place to talk. Everything seems to be going great until Mitchell takes off his scarf. He's a priest! Uh oh! He critizes Charmonique for being a single mother.

Henry sees a picture of Eliza partying and rushes over to Charmonique's to scold her. We then see Eliza dancing while Kevin is DJing with Charmonique's wigs all over the room. They hear a knock at the door and Kevin thinks it's "the po-po shuttin' [them] down." Kevin puts on a Korean popsong in honor of Henry. What is with this show and it's subtly racist jokes??

Henry and Eliza try to put Kevin to sleep but he starts crying...and sounds a lot like Eddie Murphy laughing. So random but SO hilarious. After going through Kevin's nighttime routine to no avail, Charmonique calls and reminds Eliza to give Kevin his nighttime nuggets. When they hang up, Charmonique tells Mitchell off saying that she's got "real love" and then proceeds to dance to "Real Love" by Mary J. Blige. Hell yeah, Charmonique! You tell him!

After getting inspired by Kevin's nighttime nuggets, Henry comes up with a new idea to save the vitamin line. Sapperstein is so impressed with Henry and Eliza's teamwork and calls them a great powercouple and imagines their offspring. Henry, although flattered, comments that "red-headed Koreans aren't a good look" but then takes a look at Eliza, adding "typically." While things seem to be going great for Eliza and Henry, we find out that all of Charmonique's wigs were ruined due to Eliza leaving the closet door open.

Photo Credit: Eric McCandless | ABC

To post a comment, you must register and login.