BWW Recap: SURVIVOR- BLOOD VS WATER 10/22; Full Results!

Last week, in what was probably the most satisfying tribal council of the season so far, we said goodbye to Drew. And not, like, a particularly sad goodbye. Not one of those "handkerchief-waving, sending your son off to college" goodbyes. No, no. More like a "champagne-popping, gone with the wind FANTASTIC" goodbye. The dude with the 'tude is officially off the island and probably back to enjoying his hair dryers and down feather comforters as I type this. From chillin' out, maxin', relaxin' all useless at camp, to throwing the immunity comp, to conspiring against the girls--purely because they're girls--Drew's game weakened his tribe at best and showcased his crummy personality at worst. Woah, was that too harsh? Alright, alright, well, suffice it to say, he's gone. And he deserves to be gone. Okay, rant done.

Moving on to bigger and better things, tonight Papa Probst will utter one of the most anticipated phrases of any SURVIVOR season: "Drop your buffs." Oh, yes. Whisper those three little words into a viewer's ear and watch him/her collapse into a full-on fan flail. It's just that intense. Or maybe I'm exaggerating. You'll have to tune in for yourself to find out. Mwahaha. Seriously though, it is pretty exciting. This season has felt a little redundant, truth be told, with the exception of last week's episode, which featured a triumphant Coyopa at long last. But brace yourselves, couch potatoes, 'cuz these tribes are about to get scrambled up like a great big bowl of buff-headed eggs. Ha. Now there's a cute image. Imagine a bunch of eggs wearing little SURVIVOR buffs. Adorable. Anyway! It's going to be quite the night, because a lot can happen when you start mixing up tribes, especially when you throw in the whole "blood vs water" component. Typically, members of the same tribe will stick together, try to salvage what's left of their old tribe by forming a new alliance. But what if your mom is now suddenly on your own tribe? Who do you allign yourself with then? Who? Okay, I need to step away from my keyboard for a bit. The familial drama of it all is getting to be too much for me.

Are you ready for an island shake up? What new alliances will be formed tonight? Who do you think will be the first casualty of this tribal twist?

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8:03 Oh my gosh, guys, it's coming. Jeff's gonna say it. He's gonna say it. SAY IT, JEFF. Oh, alright, fine, talk to Alec about Drew's elimination. Whatever. It's funny how everyone on Coyopa's so shocked about it. Like, did they meet him? And stop talking about how good he was at challenges. Y'all just sound silly. He literally threw the last one.

HE SAID IT. THERE IT IS. Drop your buffs, everybody, it's about to get wild. (Alright, look, it's a rainy Wednesday night--what else am I supposed to get excited about?)

8:10 Oh, yay! Josh and Reed are reunited! That warms the cockles of my theater-lovin' heart, it really does. Too bad for Keith though; being the lone wolf on the new Coyopa tribe maaaay not be great. Or maybe people will look at him as someone who can be used. Someone in need of an alliance since he doesn't have a loved one to back him up. It's possible.

It must be weird settling into a new camp...Although maybe not as weird as now being able to watch your dad sleep on sticks and contemplate eating beetles when the rice runs out. That might be weirder. It's also interesting to see members from the former Coyopa tribe chat it up with ex-Hunahpu people; like we're used to all of these people by now, but I guess most of them don't know each other at all since they haven't spent much time together.

8:21 Did y'all just see that mama monkey give its baby monkey a piggyback ride? Did you??? I hope so, because, um, it was very important.

Welp. There's the key phrase of the evening. "Blood is blood." Thanks for that, Missy. You've given us the episode title. The hashtag. The tattoo I've been wanting to get on my ankle. Really though, now that the tribes are all mixed up, the blood thing becomes a whole lot more important. On Coyopa, that may mean targeting the one solo contestant; on Hunahpu, that may mean targeting the one couple. That being said, I'm hoping Coyopa loses the immunity comp tonight, because I really don't want to see Reed or Josh in any danger.

8:34 I wonder how many versions of the exact same comp we've seen over the last 300 seasons. I'm sure somebody out there on the interweb has done some kind of study on that. I want statistics. Wait, ha, okay, I take back what I said before. "You've got to shake it, Coyopa" is definitely the takeaway line of the episode. Sorry, Missy, but Papa Probst's gusto just cannot be matched.

Phew, Hunahpu wins! Excellent. Most excellent. Oh my goodness, I have never seen so much "bartering" on this show before. It's actually kind of hilarious to me. Like I can practically hear Jeff's internal monologue--it's like he's that teacher who sorta yells at the class clown but is also a little amused at his antics. Or maybe it's more of a statement about the contestants this season in general. Either they're just a lot bolder than the tribes of seasons past, or they seriously need to get their acts together and stop losing flint and gobbling up the rice.

8:44 Oh wow, Keith, that was kinda sad. Yeah, let's vote Keith out, who'd miss him? That's a depressing mindset. However, if they do vote him out, I hope he does a quick rendition of "Cups" before Jeff snuffs his torch. You're gonna miss me by my hair (especially my beard), you're gonna miss me everywhere (including off this island, lol keep in touch?), oh you're sure gonna miss me when I'm gone. Is that reference so 2013? Well, it made me laugh, so there.

Do not come between a mother and her daughter, mmmkayyy. If Baylor goes tonight, there is gonna be one unhappy Missy to deal with, that's for darn sure. Ha, side note, I always love that sort of awkward two second pause when Jeff asks if anybody has an idol to play. Everyone always looks so shifty and suspicious, it's just great. Aaand adios, Kelley. Sorry, Dale. This may be the first tribal that has actual repercussions, because hell hath no fury like a parent who just had their kid voted off the island. Yeah, that's the lesser known version of that quote. Seriously, look it up.

So what did you think of the new tribes? Were you surprised to see Kelley voted out? Will Dale try to avenge his daughter's elimination?

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Photo Credit: Monty Brinton | CBS

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